Masks
by ManateeMama
Summary: This story begins where "Flashpoint" ends.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: We all wear masks but we wear them for different reasons because we all hide for different reasons. **

**Of course, I don't own any of ****_The Closer_**** characters, except in my own mind. Maybe that counts for something. At least it counts to me. As usual, feedback is very much wanted and appreciated. Thank you.**

Brenda had just given Fritz an explanation about why charges of sexual misconduct had been filed against her in Atlanta. She hadn't wanted to give him any more information and had been relieved when he took her glass of Merlot from her hand and suggested a change of subject. And that particular change was definitely welcome.

After remembering and removing the wire which was recording every sound, and after sharing many more kisses, she pulled away from Fritz for a moment.

"You're a great kisser," she purred.

"That's because you're so delicious," Fritz whispered in her ear.

That was the sort of thing that made her want even more kisses and that was the sort of thing that made Fritz want to oblige.

Brenda was on top, the place she enjoyed the most. It gave her the feeling that she was in control and being in control was incredibly important to her. She was not about to let things go any farther or faster than she wanted. She was not about to let her heart be crushed again.

His hands softly caressed her face as they continued to kiss. Then she felt Fritz's hand moving, pushing the neckline of her blouse down over her shoulder. Next she felt his hands slide down to her waist and up under her blouse. She was surprised at how much she was enjoying his caresses. It had been a long time since she'd been this hungry for a man's touch and his touch was the perfect mix of gentleness and firmness.

But reality penetrated her pleasure fog. She sat up suddenly, wiped her hands over her face to give her a moment to compose herself. "Do you have protection?"

"Uh, yeah." Fritz hoped his surprise wasn't evident in his voice.

"Ok. In that case we need to move this," Brenda explained as she stood up. She took Fritz's hand and led him to the bedroom where they undressed each other and spent a long and tender night.

The next morning Fritz woke up first. The first fingers of daylight were just beginning to filter in through the window. He looked at the clock: 5:50. Then he looked at Brenda with her long blonde curls tousled over her face and across her pillow. She was sleeping so peacefully. "Dammit! Why do I have to be at work early this of all mornings?" he thought. He watched her sleep for a few more minutes while wrestling with his emotions, then finally whispered, "Brenda... Brenda, wake up."

She struggled to breach the surface between sleep and awake, blinked a few times and tried to focus. Finally she was able to see Frtiz and ask "What time is it?"

"6:00. I'm sorry to wake you. But I have to leave and I didn't want you to wake up and find me gone. I wouldn't do that to you."

Still swimming toward full consciousness, she finally was able to focus on what he was saying and to ask "Why so early?"

"I have to be at work at 7:30 today and I need to go home and shower and change my clothes first."

Brenda lay there for a minute still struggling to process this information, then stifling a yawn she said "I've got a better idea. Why don't you take your shower here while I fix breakfast? Then all you'll have to do is change your clothes."

Fritz smiled at her. "Ok. That would be great."

She pushed the covers off, got up and went into the bathroom. When she saw herself in the mirror she said "Oh, God! Could I look any worse?"

"What did you say?"

"Nothin'. I'm just gettin' things together for you." If her bedhead was going to scare him away she guessed that it would be better that it happened now, she thought as she pulled supplies from the cabinets. Movement in the mirror caught her eye and she looked up to see Fritz standing in the doorway holding his clothes. "Here's a clean towel and washcloth. And since I went to the dentist last week I've got a brand new toothbrush you can have and there's the toothpaste. Here's a disposable razor and shaving cream. It smells like peaches but if you shave first and wash your face in the shower, that smell will be gone. You can hang your wet things here," she said as she pushed her own towel to the end of the towel bar. "I'll take care of them later." And she stepped out of the bathroom.

She picked up her clothing from the bedroom floor, threw them into the hamper, and headed into the kitchen. She got the coffee pot going first, then checked the eggs. She had enough but couldn't remember how fresh they were so she pulled the cereal box from the shelf and the milk from the refrigerator instead, sniffing it to make sure it was still ok. Just as she finished setting the table, Fritz appeared. He put his arm around her and gave her a gentle kiss. She responded by asking if he wanted strawberry preserves or grape jelly on his toast.

"Whatever you're having is fine," he replied, his eyes following her as she moved around the kitchen. He was trying to figure out what was different. It finally came to him. She was wearing comically baggy red flannel pajamas and every long, blonde curly hair on her head had its own idea of where it wanted to be. Even so, Fritz thought she was heartbreakingly beautiful and felt that she was giving him a great gift by not feeling that she had to appear perfect even early in the morning. "That's what you were wearing when I woke you up this morning."

"Mmm hmm. I'm not gonna put on anythin' else until after I get my shower. Is there somethin' wrong? You don't like my kitty pajamas?" she asked.

"No. No, it's not that. It's just that I distinctly remember that you didn't have anything on last night."

"I woke up durin' the night and was cold so I put this on."

"I'm surprised I didn't hear you get up."

"Well, you were sleepin' pretty soundly. I guess we both had a pretty good workout," she grinned at him.

At breakfast, Brenda asked him why he had to be at work so early.

"I'm presenting a case study for an inservice training class so I have to be there at 7:30 to get everything set up."

"Oh? What's your study about?"

"It's on a drug sting that got dismissed in court because the agent in charge lied to the defendant," Fritz explained.

"I keep on forgettin' that the FBI can't lie to people they're interrogatin'. I don't know how you ever close a case havin' to operate that way. But tell me. Were you that agent?"

"No. That was my first partner. Jose Hernandez. I think you met him when you were at Metro."

Brenda asked, "Was he the guy who thought he was God's gift to the human race?"

"I'm not sure about the whole human race but he definitely thought he could pick up any woman he wanted. Why? Did he hit on you?"

"Not too bad. I have the ability to let guys know when they need to back off."

"I'm glad I haven't gotten any such messages from you," Fritz smiled.

"Maybe that's because you're gonna be outta here pretty soon," Brenda smiled back.

"So, I guess that means no instant replay tonight."

"I guess it does. For tonight anyway."

"Then I'm going to hold out hope for the future." Fritz got up from the table, put his dishes in the sink and turned back to Brenda. Leaning over her chair, he put his arm around her shoulder and said softly, "Thank you. I'll call you later. Bye." He kissed her, gently then left.

"Bye," she replied as she watched him leave.

Brenda sat at the table reliving with great pleasure the events of last night as well as this morning. "Slow and easy, Brenda. Slow and easy," she checked herself. As if she needed to remind herself of the reasons, her mind drifted back.

* * *

She closed the door behind Will Pope and steadied herself by leaning against it. She was not used to being dumped. And the pain of losing him was almost more than she could bear. Nothing was more important than the time she was able to spend with him. Soon, she had hoped that it would be permanent. It seemed that her whole life depended on his promise that he would soon be leaving his wife. Just as soon as he found the right time to tell her, he'd said.

She had anticipated spending another blissful weekend with him. But she had been concerned by his demeanor when at last he unlocked her door. Normally, he was all smiles and would grab her and kiss her with an intensity which took her breath away. But this time he had a serious, almost sad expression on his face, which concerned her.

"What is it, Will," her apprehension was evident in her voice. "What's wrong?"

"Brenda, sit down," Will said as he pulled her down beside him on the sofa. "I don't know how to tell you this," Will wasn't looking her in the eye.

"What is it?" Brenda repeated, dread rising in her throat.

"Last night was the night I intended to sit down with my wife and tell her about you and that I was leaving. I was ready for a lot of hysterical tears but what happened was a long discussion about where we both went wrong in our marriage." Will was looking at the flowers on the coffee table as he spoke.

"Look at me, Will," Brenda insisted, "And tell me the rest." She had a sick feeling that she knew what was coming.

"Well," Will sighed and then continued, "We both decided that we owe it to ourselves and to our marriage to give it one more try."

"I see. Did you tell her about me?" Even as she asked she already knew the answer.

"No. I just couldn't hurt her like that, Brenda." Will was looking at her now and Brenda saw some sadness in his face but the misery she was feeling wasn't mirrored in his expression.

"So, what's next? Do we continue as usual?"

"I can't. I love you but I just can't. I have to give my marriage another chance and I can't do that and continue seeing you too."

"I see," was all Brenda could manage to say.

"We've been married for six years, Brenda, and Mary is a really good person. I just can't give up on her and our marriage without giving it my all. I'm so sorry. I really do love you and I don't want to hurt you."

"I love you too, Will. You promised that we'd be together. And I believed you. I thought we were meant to be together," Brenda's head was bowed. She was sinking in misery.

"Please tell me you understand what I'm going through," Will begged.

Brenda just shook her head no. Finally she was able to speak. "I know you love me and I won't make it hard on you, Will. But I need time and space."

Will reached over to hold her but she moved away from him and stood up. "I think it's best that you go home to her now," and moved to the door and opened it

Will got up and followed her to the door, stopped and said "I'm sorry, Brenda. I..."

Brenda interrupted him, "Just go, Will. Please. Go."

So he left. Brenda noticed that he didn't look back at her. He just got in his car and drove away.

Brenda didn't remember climbing the stairs to her bedroom. But she picked up her favorite photograph of Will in its heart-shaped frame beside her bed, held it close and just let the sobs overwhelm her.

Throughout the following week Brenda kept a smile on her face but struggled to carry on at work. She felt she was moving in slow motion. She couldn't concentrate and every little thing made her want to either scream or cry. She had no appetite and she couldn't find solace even in chocolate, her nurturing, wonderful chocolate. Every time she saw Will, or even heard his name, the bottom fell out of her being and she thought she'd die. At night when she was finally home alone her emotions continued to claw at her, shredding her soul. She alternately hated him and loved him still. She raged and wept until she thought she would shrivel up and die. Sleep was fleeting and filled with dreams of Will and every morning she awoke in worse shape than when she had finally fallen asleep.

After two weeks of grieving and avoiding Will whenever she could, Brenda knew what she needed to do. She filled out a vacation request form, put it in the inter-department mail drop, and called the airlines. She had to get out of DC. She would go back to Atlanta to be with her family for a few days. Her life would be better in Atlanta.


	2. Chapter 2

The rivers of his emotions were roiling as Fritz drove back to his condo. "Wow. What a night," he thought, remembering with great pleasure. And his favorite image of Brenda was not of her beautiful brown eyes softening under his gentle caress of her body. Nor was it her gorgeous body moving in sync with his own. No, it was of her early this morning. She was wearing baggy flannel pajamas, her hair was a mess, and she wasn't wearing any makeup. She was so comfortable with him that she allowed him to see her when she wasn't looking picture perfect. And that moved him more than her sexual prowess. She wasn't pretending. And, for a brief time, she wasn't guarding her wounded spirit.

But her spirit was wounded, and Fritz knew it. And he also knew if he wanted to pursue a relationship with her that he would have to proceed very carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. No. Men had hurt her enough. Besides her affair with Pope he knew she'd had a disastrous marriage. Brenda had told him just last night that her jerk of an ex-husband had reported her to her boss for sexual misconduct. And now she was working for Pope, the man who had used her and tossed her away like a used tissue when he thought he had found someone better. "God, I hate Will Pope!" Fritz thought as he changed his clothes.

Driving in to work, Fritz asked himself if he really wanted to pursue Brenda. He went through the pros and cons in his mind:

Pros: She was beautiful, more spicy than sweet, incredibly smart, and the sex had been fantastic.

Cons: Her spirit had been damaged, she allowed her job to consume 110% of her life, she had blown off their dates, she was still apparently harboring a weakness for Will Pope, and she was a little bit nuts.

But the biggest pro of all: He wanted her. Despite her wackiness, he wanted her. Despite her attraction to Pope, he wanted her.

Or did he want her _because_ she was still attracted to Pope? Was he also using her in order to teach Pope a lesson? Or was he wanting to teach Brenda a lesson about how a woman should be treated? Did he want to rescue Brenda from Pope?

"No. It's true that I want to separate her from Pope and I do want to treat her like she deserves to be treated. But I want her because I want her. Plain and simple." Fritz knew that he was fascinated by this woman and at his core he wanted her. Her beauty, her intelligence, her wackiness, all of her. He wanted all the woman who was Brenda Leigh Johnson.

In reality, he was totally smitten with Brenda Leigh Johnson. He had been smitten with her for years going back to their early days in the CIA. When they finished their training their paths diverged and he eventually married Cindy. But that marriage was doomed right from the beginning. And not long after he had transferred to the FBI, he reconnected with Brenda at Metro. He had worked with her on several cases. And, although his attraction to her had not waned, he remained loyal to Cindy and never acted on his feelings for Brenda.

Instead he had watched Will Pope, also married, move in and initiate an affair with her. And it had made him sick. He recognized Pope as a self-absorbed opportunist. Not only had he known that Brenda and Will were wrong for each other, he had to admit that he honestly could not understand what she saw in him, an unattractive, balding, married man. While he had never been able to figure that out, he knew immediately when Pope's and Brenda's affair had ended. He had been working on a case with her unit and had seen the tremendous emotional damage their breakup did to her. And Pope was behaving as though nothing was wrong. In fact, he was behaving like a smug bastard. Pope knew Brenda had been terribly hurt and it didn't seem like he really cared. Then, less than a week later, Fritz saw something that made him understand why. He was in a restaurant bar and saw Pope with Estelle Forsyth from the DA's office having a very romantic dinner. He was nuzzling her ear. Fritz had resisted the urge to go up to the table and throw Pope's drink in his smug, disgusting face.

Initially Fritz had been tempted to tell Brenda what he had seen. But despite how much he wanted to make her realize that she was grieving the loss of someone who did not deserve that grief, he knew that the knowledge of what Pope actually was would only serve to deepen her hurt. So he had resolved to say nothing and helplessly watch this wonderful woman's pain and suffering from afar.

Fritz knew that pain intimately. His own marriage was floundering. And while he knew Cindy was not cheating on him, he also knew that the end of their marriage was looming over them both. But by the time that end finally arrived Brenda was gone.

He was miserable. He had tried to hide it behind his usually calm demeanor. But his old friends made it impossible to avoid the remnants of his failed marriage. He had devoted his life to his work and to his growing fondness for his new best friend Scotch but neither one had alleviated his pain. Finally, when a good opportunity for escape had come his way, he had transferred to Los Angeles. But he had taken his demons with him and he only found his true escape when he entered rehab.

So he was confident that he knew better than anyone the depths of Brenda's suffering. He knew how carefully he had to handle her heart. And he knew that this woman had the power to inflict greater damage to his own heart too. Still, he wanted her.

"Slow and easy, Fritz. Slow and easy," he resolved. He recognized that there were two hearts needing tender loving care.

* * *

The Checker cab turned the corner into the cul-de-sac of the solid, middle class neighborhood and parked in front of a neatly landscaped brick house. Brenda paid the cabbie just as the front door opened. Clay came out grinning from ear to ear, engulfed his daughter in a bear hug, and grabbed her bags. "Clay, Jr. and Bobby are comin' for dinner tonight. They're as excited to see you as we are, darlin'" Clay said as they made their way up the front walk toward the house.

Mama was standing in the doorway with a huge smile enveloping her face. "After a hug and a kiss she said, "Brenda Leigh, I've missed you so much. I've fixed your favorite foods includin' a red velvet cake for dinner."

"That's wonderful, Mama. I've missed you too," and Brenda bent down to hug her mama again. Being home was already having an immediate and calming effect on her spirit.

"Oh, Clay, Jr. is bringing Amy. I don't think you've met her, have you?" Mama was referring to her oldest son's new fiancée.

"Oh, yes, Mama. I met Amy when I was home last fall. I think that they had just been datin' a couple of months."

"Oh, we didn't get to meet her until Christmas." Mama sounded disappointed that her daughter had met her son's fiancée before she had.

The thought of another woman being engaged to the man she loves sent Brenda's spirit plummeting. But she pasted a smile on her face to mask her feelings and listened to her mother prattle on about everyone and everything. Finally she was free to go up to her room.

She laid down on the bed, grabbed one of the teddy bears that had been waiting for her for the past 14 years and looked around the room. It was just as she'd left it when she left for Georgetown. Even the notes and photographs on her bulletin board were unchanged. Her National Honor Society certificate was still where her daddy had hung it on the wall. Souvenirs from summer camp and various family vacations still occupied the top of her bookcase. As she hugged the teddy bear, thoughts of Will came back to her and she struggled not to cry. She didn't want her parents to hear her and realize something was wrong. She would squelch her feelings while she was here and maybe they would start to recede.

Soon she heard the back door open. Her brother Bobby, her sister-in-law Joyce, and their daughter Charlene had arrived, their voices drifting up the stairs. So she got up, went across the hall to the bathroom and wiped a cold, wet washcloth over her face to erase any sign of tears that might have leaked out. After checking herself in the mirror, she replaced her sad expression with her smile mask and went down the stairs to greet her brother and his family.

Just after she had hugged Bobby and Joyce and was chatting with seven year old Charlene, Clay, Jr. and Amy came in. Clay, Jr. grabbed Brenda and spun her around.

"Put me down! Put me down!" Brenda laughed. "Clay, Jr., You'll throw your back out."

"Do me next, Uncle Clay," Charlene begged. So Clay, Jr. picked up his niece and spun her around several times before putting her down.

During dinner, Willie Ray made Amy and Clay, Jr. tell Brenda all about their wedding plans so Brenda had to work to keep her smile in place. If it slipped at all she hoped no one noticed. As a matter of fact, no one seemed to notice anything which dampened the jovial atmosphere of the family dinner.

Brenda really liked Amy. She was a sweet, friendly, traditional southern girl. Her father was a Southern Baptist preacher. Although Brenda wasn't religious her parents were, and she was raised in the Southern Baptist Church milieu so she knew Amy's parents' stand on virtually everything. Although she would never ask, she wondered if Clay, Jr. accepted the Southern Baptist view on premarital sex. She didn't want to think of her brother having sex with anyone, so she confined her conjectures to Amy's sexual experiences. Amy seemed so traditional and conservative that Brenda was pretty sure that she would be a virgin on her wedding day. "That's one gal who probably has the right to wear white at her weddin'," Brenda thought. "I'm gonna have to lie about that one and pray that God doesn't smite me at the altar."

After the last crumb of Mama's red velvet cake had been eaten and everyone had left, Brenda and Mama finished cleaning up the kitchen while Clay turned on the last few minutes of Larry King Live. When Brenda and Willie Ray entered the room they heard Clay muttering "All those politicians are crooks. The whole lot of 'em should be tarred and feathered."

"Solvin' the world's problems, Daddy?" Brenda joked.

"Eh, there's no solvin' anythin' as long as that bunch of thieves is runnin' things," Clay replied.

Brenda asked, "Daddy, I'd like to see a few people while I'm here and go to Dillard's shoppin'. Can I borrow your car one day?"

Willie Ray replied for him. "Of course, dear. And I'd love to go shoppin' with you."

"That would be great, Mama. But I want to see a few people too. I don't know how much I can use the car. I guess I should have rented one."

"No, no," Clay objected, "No need to rent a car. Of course you can use mine, little girl."

"Let me find the sale flyer. I think there are a few things I want to pick up." Willie Ray was clearly excited about the chance to go shopping with her daughter so Brenda didn't dare suggest that she'd rather go alone. She'd have to see if she could use her daddy's car on two days. If not, she'd just rent one or take a cab without telling them about it.

Later, as Brenda climbed the stairs to her room, Willie Ray's worried eyes followed her daughter until Brenda's door closed. Then she whispered her concerns to Clay.

The next day Brenda and Mama shopped the mall and Mama came home loaded down with bargains. Brenda bought a dress and a sweater even though she wasn't in the mood to shop. She had just mentioned shopping as a ruse to use her father's car. And with every dress she pulled out to inspect, she wondered if Will would like it. She could not get thoughts of him out of her mind.

The next morning after breakfast Brenda told her parents she was going to go for a walk and before they could suggest that they accompany her, she grabbed her sweater and was out the door. She walked to a bus stop about two blocks from her home, sat on an empty bench, and called her old friend Cole, a former CIA translator, who was now teaching foreign languages at Emory University.

"Hi, Cole? This is Brenda Leigh Johnson. Do you remember me?"

"Well, hello, Brenda. Of course I remember you. You left me with a room full of tapes needing translating when you decided on interrogation training." Brenda heard the humor in his voice.

"I'm sorry about that, Cole. I really did try to get as much done as I could. Honest," she swore to him with a smile on her face.

"I believe you. As I recall you hail from Atlanta. Are you living back in 'The Big Peach' now?"

"Not yet, Cole. But that's why I called you. I'm thinkin' I would like to move back home and I'm wonderin' if you know of anyone at the Atlanta PD who might be interested in hirin' a crack interrogator."

"I see. As a matter of fact I know a Commander in Robbery Homicide. I'd be willing to call him."

"Would you? Oh, Cole, that would be wonderful. Thank you."

"No problem. And I'll be sure to tell him about the room full of tapes you left me with, too."

"I know you won't. I'm sure you had to sign a separation agreement just like I did so I should be safe."

"True, so your dirty little secret will be safe with me."

"Whew! You had me goin' for a minute there," she laughed.

He chuckled then asked "What are you doing now? What should I tell him?"

"You can tell him that I'm a Lieutenant for the Washington D.C. Metro Police Department in their Robbery Homicide Division."

"I'll do that this morning" Cole promised. "Oh, and Brenda, welcome home."

"Thanks, Cole. This means a lot to me."

She hung up the phone and walked back to her parents' home. Things were starting to look up so it was easier to put her smile back in place. Later on that afternoon, Cole called her back so she went out into the yard to take his call.

"Hi, Cole."

"Hi, Brenda. I called my friend and of course I couldn't tell him anything about your police work. But I stressed your interrogation training. And the bottom line is that he thinks that if you have good references that they might be interested in hiring you." Brenda was relieved and hopeful. "He suggests that when you go in you ask for a Captain LaVerne Warren. He will try to get to her this afternoon and give her a heads up. Just remember that if it works out you owe me lunch."

"Lunch will definitely be on my agenda, Cole. Thank you so much." This time Brenda had a reason for the genuine smile which supplanted her mask.

Two days later, Brenda drove downtown to the Atlanta PD headquarters and asked for Capt. Warren. After being ushered into her office Brenda fidgeted while waiting. Captain Warren entered the room a few minutes later and Brenda saw that she was a tall, athletic black woman with a smile which instantly put her at ease. During the interview she described her Criminal Justice degree at Georgetown and gave her a copy of her transcripts. She told Capt. Warren that, after graduation she had gone to work for the Department of State primarily working in Eastern European relations. That left out a lot of extremely pertinent information but a separation agreement prevented Brenda from going into any more detail. So she went on to describe her work with the Metro PD and concluded by saying that she wanted to return to her childhood home in Atlanta.

Capt. Warren continued by asking, "I'm told that you are a CIA trained interrogator. What can you tell me about that?"

"That's correct. I was lucky enough to be trained by the CIA in interrogation techniques in Washington," Brenda replied hoping that Capt. Warren would think that Metro PD sponsored her training. Brenda continued, "I did a lot of interrogations at Metro. As a result, my unit's accuracy ratin's and the number of successful case closin's have gone up every year I've been there. But I also did a lot of field investigations too with good results."

After more questions about Brenda's training and experience, Capt. Warren discussed the organization of the Atlanta PD.

"I think I'd be very happy workin' here," Brenda said. "This is where I spent most of my childhood and I'd like to come home."

"Lt. Johnson, we will need to check your references. Have you told your supervisor that you are considerin' a move here?"

"No, I haven't told anyone so I'd appreciate it if you could check me out without contactin' my immediate supervisor. It could make things very difficult for me if I don't get a job here."

"If there are no indications of problems I think we can get the information and verifications we need from Metro's Personnel office. We'll get back to you."

"Thank you, Captain. I'll be in Atlanta for the rest of the week and then I'll be back in Washington. Please call me if you have any further questions for me. You have my home and my cell phone numbers, but I think I prefer that you call my cell."

Brenda left the interview feeling good. She was sure enough that she picked up a book of real estate listings when she stopped for lunch and looked at apartment complex ads while she ate. Then she drove around looking at a few apartments she thought would be in her price range before filling her daddy's car with gas and heading back home.

By the end of her stay she still had not heard anything further from Capt. Warren so she penned a note thanking her for taking the time to interview her and reinforcing how much she was hoping for the opportunity to work for the Atlanta PD. Just as she started to walk to the mailbox with it, her daddy took it from her hand saying he'd mail it for her since he needed to pay some bills. He looked at it and read the envelope. "Capt. LaVerne Warren, Atlanta PD. What's this?" he questioned.

"Daddy, she's just someone I met awhile ago and I was tellin' her how much I enjoyed seein' her again." Brenda was such a good liar that she had no trouble fooling Clay. But she was still glad it was him and not her mother. She always had trouble fooling Willie Ray.

* * *

When Brenda opened the front door to her apartment, the heavy cloud of sadness enveloped her again. But this time, as she unpacked, she knew what she had to do. After getting the washing machine going she picked up a black garbage bag and walked through each room of her apartment picking up all the photos and other momentos of her relationship with Will and stuffed them into the garbage bag. She intended to take the bag to the dumpster but stopped before reaching the door.

Instead she emptied everything out on the floor, got down on her hands and knees, and reexamined every item. Then she separated them into two piles. The larger pile went back into the garbage bag, but she fondled each item in the smaller pile before rummaging through her closet and finding a cardboard box. She placed all the remaining items in the box and put it in her closet before she took the garbage bag to the dumpster. As painful as that chore was, she felt good that she was able to do it. "I'm makin' progress," she thought.

But, progress or no progress, going back to work on Monday morning was still difficult. Even though her smile mask was back in place she noticed some of her co-workers looking at her with puzzled expressions. "I've got to do a better job with my smilin'," Brenda resolved.

Midway through the morning, her cell phone buzzed. She recognized the Atlanta area code so she excused herself to answer the call in private. It was Capt. Warren telling her that her application had been accepted and that she would transfer at her same rank and her pay would be commensurate with her years of experience. "Thank you, Capt. Warren. That's wonderful news. I'll give my notice today. Yes, I can start in two weeks." Now, Brenda's smile was once again genuine.

She immediately opened her computer's word processing program and wrote her resignation letter. She started to take it up to Will's office, but stopped. She knew she'd feel the old pain and didn't want to start crying again so she went to the inter-department mail drop and sent the letter up to Will's office.

When she returned to her desk one of her co-workers, Bill Cannon, approached her. "Brenda, is everything all right? You've seemed so down lately and we're all worried about you."

Brenda looked up and saw fourteen pairs of eyes looking at her. It was obvious that Bill had been the designated one to find out what was going on so she replied, "You're right, Bill and everyone," she acknowledged the others in the squad room. "I have been down. Now, I guess I can tell you all that I'm leavin' Metro. I've accepted a job with the Atlanta PD and I'll be startin' there in two weeks."

Everyone was sorry to see her leave and told her so. Brenda was genuinely sorry to tell them she'd be leaving them too. They'd all become friends during the more than three years she'd worked with them. But she was relieved that they all believed that her plans were what had been making her sad. No further explanations would be necessary.

After work on her last day, her squad held a farewell party for her at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. Everyone knew her addiction to chocolate and that she was especially fond of the restaurant's Chocolate Sin Cake so they ordered a big slice be brought to her with a note attached. Brenda laughed when she read out loud, "Life is short. Eat the dessert first." And she ate it first, too.

The party was fun. Each member of her squad shared a warm, funny story about Brenda and everyone expressed their sadness at her leaving but they all genuinely wished her happiness. Will had exhibited the good grace to make an excuse and not show up so Brenda was able to relax and fully enjoy the companionship of her friends and co-workers. And tomorrow her daddy and Bobby would be here to help her move back home to Atlanta.


	3. Chapter 3

Brenda had been back in Atlanta for three months and she was really enjoying the Atlanta PD. Besides being open, friendly, and greeting her warmly when she first arrived, everyone in her Robbery Homicide squad all sounded exactly like she did so she was never teased about her accent. Her parents had been disappointed when she had told them that she had rented an apartment of her own but there was nothing they could do about it except grudgingly accept her independence. At least Brenda hoped they had accepted it. There were times that she wasn't so sure. She had to draw the line when Willie Ray had insisted on making curtains from some old fashioned floral material that would not match anything else she had.

Brenda was initially welcomed at work. But when they saw that her superior intelligence and skills might possibly be a threat to both their chances for advancement and their tried and true ways of closing cases some of them weren't so sure that a pretty little girl with big brown eyes and long blonde curls was going to be an asset. And some of her fellow officers were not happy when Commander Lindley said she was to take the lead in their interrogations. However, respect grew over time among the guys when they realized that, not only did Brenda's interrogations and investigations bring faster successful closings to their cases, she never took sole credit for anything. In fact whenever Commander Lindley came into the squad room, he thanked them all for their good work so they knew Brenda had given credit to everyone.

Just like in most police departments, the women were vastly outnumbered. And just like in most police departments, the men formed a good old boys network to keep them sidelined. Although Brenda refused to be sidelined, the other women working on her floor were. But they still sought her out and included her on their breaks and when they went out to lunch. So, for the first time since college she had girlfriends. While she didn't do the girlfriend thing very well, they didn't seem to care.

Although Brenda didn't think she was ready or interested, another officer named Norma Hutchins, was constantly on her case about dating. She was still spending a lot of time thinking about Will and looking at the contents of her cardboard box. "I'm livin' in the past. I need to move on," she would tell herself. But she had to acknowledge that she really didn't want to.

Finally she let her friends set her up with blind dates and, while none of them was "Mr. Right", she found herself starting to enjoy dating again. The best times were when they double dated with whichever friend had set her up. She could relax and be herself in a group. Plus she had to admit that, for those she dated beyond their initial meeting, the sex was good. So, all things considered, she was only moderately resistant when Norma told her about one of her husband's coworkers.

"He's tall, dark and handsome, has great manners, he's smart and has a great sense of humor too. He's kind and a real gentleman. Oh, and did I tell you that he's a great dancer?" Norma was positively bubbling.

"Does he walk on water and heal the sick too?" Brenda asked dryly, rolling her eyes at Norma's enthusiasm.

"Ok, kid me all you want to but I'm tellin' you that he's perfect for you." Norma would not be deterred. "I've got it all set up. You're comin' to dinner Friday night to meet him."

Brenda sat back and stared at her friend. "You are absolutely determined, aren't you?"

"Yes. Oh, I know I've set you up before. And even though sparks didn't fly you have to admit that they were great guys," Norma looked for agreement from Brenda. When she didn't get it she continued "Weren't they great guys?"

"Yes, they were. I'm just not interested in a permanent relationship, that's all," Brenda reasoned.

"Of course you are. You're in your mid thirties and you're still single." Norma thought she'd put an end to that particular Brenda block in short order. "And this guy is the cream of the crop. You'll love him."

Brenda sighed and asked "What time should I be there?"

"Dinner is at 8:00. Oh, and wear that red dress of yours. That'll get his blood pressure up there where it belongs," Norma grinned.

"Why? Does he need a pacemaker or somethin'?"

Norma laughed, "Now you're just bein' silly."

So, when Friday night rolled around Brenda found herself standing on the porch, ringing Norma's and Stan's doorbell at 7:45. She had parked behind a shiny Corvette and wryly apologized to her 16 year old Ford for having to share the street with a Corvette.

As she walked up to the Hutchins' front door she made sure her smile was in position. Stan answered the doorbell and, as soon as she entered, introduced her to his friend and coworker Ed Harper. He flashed her a winning smile and as he shook her hand Brenda thought, "Well, so far Norma's description is dead right."

Dinner passed quickly with good food and great conversation. Ed was obviously intelligent and well-read on a great many topics. And he was very attentive to Brenda. At the end of the evening when Brenda said her goodbyes and thanked Norma for the dinner, Norma leaned over and whispered in Brenda's ear, "I'll call you tomorrow." Then Ed walked Brenda to her car. She saw the Corvette and said "I see you like sports cars."

"Not necessarily. But I do have a weakness for great cars. I appreciate quality wherever I see it. Which is why I would love to see you again. Could we have dinner one night next week?"

"I'd enjoy that. Thank you," and Brenda gave him her phone number.

After that flattering exchange Brenda explained to her old Ford that the Atlanta dating scene just might be looking up. Lying in bed she realized that she hadn't thought about Will Pope all day long, and she fell asleep hoping that she had turned a corner.

That Sunday, when she went to dinner at her parents' home, Willie Ray commented that Brenda seemed happier than she'd been in quite awhile. "Is there someone special we need to thank for this good mood of yours," Willie Ray asked as much with her piercing eyes as with her words.

"Oh, no, Mama. I'm just feelin' better about work and everythin'." That's all."

Willie Ray gave her a knowing look but said nothing. Brenda caught the look but had no intention of telling her about Ed at this point in their relationship. "What relationship?" Brenda mused. "I haven't even had a first date with him yet. Well, I suppose I should count Friday night's dinner as a first date," she acknowledged to herself.

On their next date, Ed told Brenda that he was divorced. He said that his wife was an alcoholic and that she'd refused treatment. Finally, after he'd discovered that she was also abusing prescription medicine and she was still refusing treatment, he'd called it quits. Brenda had seen from her own cases the terrible things that addiction can do to marriages so he won a little more of her heart that night.

At the end of the evening Ed made it clear that he wanted more than a good night kiss at the door, but she just wasn't ready. And Ed had accepted her putting him off with his usual good manners. Brenda was grateful that he hadn't pushed.

After their next date Brenda allowed him to spend the night. The next morning as she watched him leave, Brenda mused "Well, the sex was ok, I guess. But I sure wouldn't call him the best lover I've ever had. But then I don't know what I was expectin' exactly. It was good. No skyrockets, but at least he didn't rush me. Well, maybe I was a little rushed. But not bad. I can slow him down next time. It was ok."

Ed always treated her like a queen and he clearly respected her intellect and was interested in her work. She actually began wondering if she could fall in love with him.

One morning a week before Christmas she was addressing Christmas cards to all of her friends at Metro when she was interrupted by a knock on her door. When she looked through the peep hole, she saw Ed holding a box. He gave her a kiss and announced that they were going to make a gingerbread house. So they spent most of the day baking and assembling the confection and laughing when Brenda would try to steal the trim and eat it.

When daylight waned, Ed brought Brenda her coat and said, "Come on. Christmas lights await," and he put her in his Corvette and they drove around Atlanta looking at the Christmas lights. After stopping for dinner they went back to Brenda's apartment and spent what was left of the evening and all night in bed. By the next morning, Brenda had decided she was ready to introduce him to her family and invited him to spend Christmas with the Johnson clan. He was thrilled at the invitation and immediately accepted.

Ed wasn't the only one who was thrilled. Willie Ray danced around her house for five whole days making sure the house was sufficiently decorated and planning her best Christmas dinner ever. Even though Clay tried to tell Willie Ray to calm down he was also looking forward to meeting this guy and assessing whether he was deserving of his daughter. He knew up front that Edward Harper would not pass muster so he resolved to turn him inside out and make him aware of his deficiencies. Just for fun.

On Christmas morning, Ed and Brenda took a few minutes to exchange their gifts before leaving for the Johnson house. Ed gave Brenda a beautiful locket. Although she didn't often wear jewelry, it was lovely and she had him put it around her neck. She gave Ed a small silver model of a Corvette with his license plate number engraved into the plate. He seemed to really like it.

On the way to the Johnson home, Brenda warned Ed that he was in for the third degree. "He'll make you run the gauntlet and I don't think there's too much I can do to save you," she warned him.

But Ed was sure of himself. "I think I can deal with him. Don't you worry about me."

"Actually, I think the one you should be worried about is Mama. Think Spanish Inquisition with a smile."

Ed laughed. "I'm really looking forward to meetin' them."

The Corvette made an impressive entrance as it pulled into the cul-de-sac. Brenda and Ed, laden with gifts for the entire Johnson clan, were greeted at the door by Clay and Willie Ray.

"Let me take your coat, Mr. Harper," Mama said, all smiles. "May I call you Ed?"

"Yes, please. When I hear 'Mr. Harper' I either think I'm still at work or someone has mistaken me for my father."

"Oh, no. I wouldn't want to do that," Mama's smile and twinkling eyes seem to be a fixture.

"Ed, come have a bourbon with me and tell me about yourself. Brenda Leigh tells me you're in venture capital." Clay seemed genuinely interested in Ed's career.

"Careful, Ed," Brenda thought. "He's settin' you up for a spider-fly moment."

Ed knew what Brenda was thinking so he gave her a wink and followed Clay into the living room while Brenda followed Mama into the kitchen.

"Ed seems like a very nice young man, dear. How did you meet him?" Mama asked.

"He works with the husband of one of my friends."

"So, it was a blind date, then?"

"Well, sort of. It was at a dinner party."

"Now dear, he seems nice and everythin' but blind dates are risky," Willie Ray intoned.

"Don't worry, Mama. He's a real gentleman. Nothin' to worry about."

"Well, if you're sure."

"Yes, Mama. I'm sure."

In the living room Clay was grilling Ed about venture capital and whether or not it was an honorable profession or just a lot of tax dodges for fat cats. Ed didn't appear to be uncomfortable, though Brenda thought he might need rescuing. She started to say something just as the back door opened and the voices of her two brothers, Amy, Joyce, and Charlene rolled down the hall. Everyone got up to meet them and introduce themselves. Throughout dinner, Ed fielded all the questions her family threw at him with aplomb so Brenda relaxed and just enjoyed Christmas with the family.

For New Years Eve, Ed took Brenda to a party at a local hotel where there were plenty of opportunities for dancing. He was an excellent dancer and, although Brenda was somewhat out of practice, she enjoyed the evening. As they were sitting at a table for two, she noticed Ed looking at a man at the bar with a somewhat irritated expression.

"What's wrong, Ed?" she asked.

"That man keeps looking at you," Ed said.

"Oh, I don't think so. It looks like he's looking at the woman behind us," Brenda corrected him. And a few minutes later the man approached the woman seated behind them and asked her to dance.

"See? I told you," Brenda said.

"I should have learned never to doubt the investigative and analytical talents of APD's finest," Ed said with a grin.

In mid-January Brenda had to fly back to DC in order to testify at the trial of a man she had gotten to confess to a double homicide. While there she went back to visit her old squad and get brought up to speed on what had been happening in their lives. Her old friend Bill Cannon had been the one Brenda could always count on for office gossip. It usually had annoyed her but when she had wanted to know something, Bill had definitely been her go to guy. Bill told her that Will Pope had left Mary about a week after Brenda had left for Atlanta and had immediately moved in with his new girlfriend. Brenda knew to move carefully so as not to give anything away.

"Oh, does she work here?" Brenda hoped she was displaying only mild interest.

"No, she works as a clerk for the DA's office, I think. Estelle Forsyth. Supposedly they're getting married on Valentine's Day but none of us were invited. I guess it's family only."

Brenda's emotions were once again tearing her apart but she had to get through the trial so she pasted her smile mask back on and mechanically testified about her investigation and the defendant's confession. If anyone suspected that she was in an emotional turmoil no one said anything. As soon as the trial was over she flew back to Atlanta, wishing that the plane could fly faster the entire way.

Once back in her old routine she tried to get reenthused about her relationship with Ed but couldn't stop thinking about how Will had lied to her and the fact that he obviously was cheating on her while all the time promising to leave Mary to be with her. She got out her momento box and once again examined every item. When she picked up a picture of them both with their arms around each other and smiling so happily, she was suddenly filled once more with rage. Throwing the box and its contents across the room, she screamed "Bastard!" and crumpled onto the floor. After awhile she wiped her tears, put each item back in the box, and took it back to it's secret place in her closet.

That night lying in bed her white hot fury receded and she was left feeling a cold, hollow emptiness. It was as if Will dumping her for another woman stripped her of all value. But she willed herself to shake off that feeling. "I am not worthless," she angrily told herself gripping the sheets in both fists. "And I will not allow any man to make me feel that way."

Clay, Jr.'s and Amy's wedding was beautiful in its simplicity. But, as lovely as it was, Brenda couldn't help but think of herself in that gown making her vows to the man she had hoped to marry some day. But all she could do was hope everyone interpreted her smiling through tears as an expression of joy for her brother and his new bride.

For Valentine's Day, Ed took Brenda on a romantic carriage ride through Piedmont Park. Midway through the ride, he pulled a small box from his jacket pocket, showed her a gorgeous diamond ring and, as she gasped in surprise, asked her to marry him. Brenda was completely overwhelmed and through tears she cried, "Oh, my God, Ed. Yes!"

"Let's go tell your parents," Ed suggested.

"Right now?" Brenda could think of other things she'd rather do at this moment.

"Yes. As soon as the carriage ride ends," Bill said. And they made their way back to the cul-de-sac to make the big announcement. They rang the bell and Clay answered, clearly surprised by their unannounced appearance.

When everyone was in the living room, Brenda started to speak but Ed interrupted. "Let me, darlin'." When Brenda nodded he continued, "Tonight is the best night of my life because I asked your daughter to marry me and she said yes."

A thunder cloud immediately passed over Clay's face and he glared at Ed. "Well, Mr. Edward Harper, don't you think you should have asked me for my daughter's hand in marriage first?"

Ed looked him in the eye and very calmly replied, "No, sir, I don't. Frankly that never would occur to me in this day and age."

Clay's neck turned purple and every vein was standing out so Willie Ray jumped in and said "I'm so happy for you, dear. Do you know when you'll have the weddin'? Oh, I can't wait to tell your brothers."

Brenda smiled at her mother and said "No, we haven't had a chance to make any plans yet. This just happened tonight."

But Ed said "Oh, we want to get married as soon as possible. After all, if we wait too long she may change her mind about me," and Ed, Brenda and Willie Ray all laughed.

Clay finally spoke. "Well, darlin, if you're sure this is what you want."

"Oh, yes, Daddy. It's what I want," and Brenda gave her father a hug.

On their way home, Brenda asked "Do you really want a weddin' as soon as possible?"

"Yes, darlin', I do. As a matter of fact, let's elope."

Brenda gasped. "Are you kiddin'? We can't do that. Mama and Daddy would never forgive us!"

Ed chuckled, "Well, all right. But get to plannin' because I don't want to wait a minute longer than necessary."

Brenda didn't reply. Her head was spinning. She just put her head back and looked at the stars through the moon roof.

The next two months were a blur. They negotiated her name. She would continue to go by Johnson at work but would be Brenda Harper at home. Brenda was busy at work and busier at home planning her wedding. "This would be a lot easier if I didn't have to fight Mama over every detail," she grumbled to Ed one night at dinner. "She wants to take over every little thing, and nothin' she wants to do looks or feels like me. It's way too big and fancy and it feels like it's a complete stranger's weddin'."

"Can't you just talk to her and tell her how you feel?"

"Oh, you know Mama. Once she gets on a roll she won't listen to anybody."

"I know she'll listen to you," Ed replied. "She wants you to have what you want. She just thinks you want the same thing she does. Tell her what you really want."

"I'll try. I'll go over there after work in the next couple of days before she books a stadium for the ceremony," Brenda said wryly. "But I might have to work a little later tomorrow night so don't plan on me for dinner."

"I'll be glad when we're married and you can quit your job," Ed sighed.

"What are you talkin' about? I'm not quittin' my job. I love my job."

Ed looked disappointed. "Oh, I just thought you'd want to be a stay at home wife and mother."

"Mother? Whoa! Slow down, Eddie boy! I don't want to have any kids for a little while. We need to get used to bein' married first."

Ed just looked at her for a moment, then smiled and took her hand, "Of course. Whatever you want, honey."

Brenda relaxed and smiled back at him, "I'm not sayin' I don't want kids. I just don't want kids right now. I need some more time."

"We'll take it nice and slow, then," Ed replied.

A few days later while Brenda was at her parents trying to slow down Willie Ray's wedding planning juggernaut, Clay came into the living room and said "Little girl, your mother and I have a special weddin' gift for you. And it's for you only."

"Only for me?"

"That's right. I bought a house last week for you and Ed. Now, it's in my name so I paid the closin' costs and I paid enough down that the payments will be low. You and Ed will have to make the payments and pay the taxes and, of course, all the upkeep. But the house will remain in my name for the time bein'."

Brenda was shocked. "Daddy, but you've already given us our honeymoon. A house too?"

"We did the same thing for Clay, Jr. and Bobby. And when Jimmy gets married we'll do the same thing for him. I've changed my will so that if anythin' happens to me, the title of the house passes to you and you alone. But for now, the title remains in my name. And there is one other condition."

"What's that?"

"You and Ed have to both sign an agreement that if your marriage doesn't work out that you'll each get to keep the money and things you brought to the marriage. Everythin' else gets split equally."

"A prenup?" Brenda hadn't given any thought to that before. While she wasn't sure how she felt about the idea it seemed like a small price to pay for a beautiful house so she agreed and said she'd talk to Ed about it.

Brenda looked in amazement at the card and the photograph of the house Willie Ray handed her.

"Let's go see it. I'll call Ed and tell him to meet us," Brenda was excited.

The house was a nice brick colonial, four bedroom house in a good neighborhood which was between the APD headquarters and Ed's office. Both Brenda and Ed were impressed and thrilled to get such a wonderful present from Clay and Willie Ray. And Ed voiced no objections to Clay's condition of a prenup.

The wedding plans, the showers that her sister-in-law and Norma threw for her, all the planning and invitations were just a blur to Brenda. Ed wasn't at all interested in reception menus, DJs, flowers, dresses or colors. But he did agree to handle the men's tuxes so Brenda left that to him.

And Brenda wasn't as interested as Willie Ray thought she should be. Actually Brenda was interested. It was just that she was more interested in her job. She had given up trying to rein in Willie Ray. She found that being a homicide detective was fraught with a lot less drama than planning a wedding so she threw her hands in the air, let Willie Ray take over, and gave most of her attention over to her work.

The wedding was larger than Brenda had wanted but she had only been able to slow Willie Ray down, not stop her, when her mother was in wedding planning mode. Her sister-in-law Joyce and Norma Hutchins were her attendants and Charlene was her flower girl. Ed's cousin and his best friend were his attendants. It seemed to Brenda as she walked down the aisle on her daddy's arm that everyone on the APD and everyone who attended the Black Rock Baptist Church had accepted their invitation.

It was a lovely, traditional ceremony followed by a reception and dinner at a local country club. And after the wedding, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Harper left for a two week Hawaiian honeymoon before settling down in their new home.


	4. Chapter 4

Returning to work after her honeymoon was a jolt to Brenda's system. She had been so relaxed and happy that she found the activity level and stress of the Robbery Homicide unit a readjustment. She took a packet of her favorite photos of Hawaii in to work to share with her friends at lunch. And Norma was especially thrilled. As a matter of fact, she took full credit for Brenda's happiness. Brenda just laughed and let her take all the credit she wanted.

Brenda had been back at work about a month when a particularly difficult case was assigned to her unit. It was a triple homicide, very grisly, and the case had "gang" written all over it. Yet the gang taskforce had come up empty. Brenda and her team dug in, reinterviewed persons of interest and soon had some leads. But this initial progress meant that she was working late every night. The case finally concluded four days later when Brenda got a confession at 10:30 at night.

By the time she got home it was after midnight and she was surprised to see the living room and kitchen lights still on. Ed was waiting for her, and she could instantly see that he was not in a good mood.

"Well, thank you so much for finally decidin' to grace our home with your presence," Ed greeted her, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I don't suppose it ever crossed your mind to come home a few hours earlier?"

Brenda's pride at finally solving a difficult case was instantly demolished. "What are you talkin' about? You know I've been workin' late every night this week."

"You have been deliberately stayin' away," Ed accused. "I guess you prefer bein' surrounded by all the men at the police department instead of just one husband waitin' for you at home."

"Don't be ridiculous," Brenda was getting angry. "You've met every single man in my squad and you know that I'm not interested in any of them. I was workin'. That's all."

"No, I don't know that, Brenda. All I know is that I have spent a whole week alone."

"Well, I'm sorry, Ed. But that's the nature of my work. You know that I often have to work late and you've never complained before." Before he could answer she continued, "I'm exhausted and I'm goin' to bed."

"And I suppose you're gonna tell me that you're too tired for sex, too," was Ed's comeback.

"Good. I'm glad you understand," Brenda replied. And they spent the night as far apart in their king size bed as they could.

The next morning, Ed apologized profusely. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It's just that I love you so much. I've been missin' you so much and I just got crazy last night. It won't happen again. I promise."

He kissed her sweetly and she smiled. "Since I've been workin' so much overtime I could go in a little later this mornin' if you want."

He wanted.

Much to Brenda's relief things were back to normal and they stayed that way for the next three weeks. One evening they were going over finances. Since Ed managed money for a living he had suggested that he be the one to handle the bills and Brenda had readily agreed. While she had always done a good job managing her money it was one chore that she had never relished. Having Ed handle everything meant she didn't have to think about it, and she was grateful.

"Honey, I think we should save and invest as much money as we can. Since we don't have any extra expenses right now, and we don't have children yet we can save quite a bit of money if we combine our bank accounts and put ourselves on a budget," Ed suggested.

Brenda had never been one to spend extravagantly so she was not opposed. But she was a little surprised when Ed had suggested a budget for himself which was four times the amount he suggested for her. But he explained that he had to take clients out to lunch and that he couldn't take them to McDonald's so he needed quite a bit more money.

"Why can't you put client lunches on your business account?"

"Because the company has an expense account ceiling and you have to spend money to make money. How do you think I became the top earner in my division?"

"But you're barely givin' me enough for lunches and gas," Brenda complained. "I want a little bit of pin money too."

"All right. You can have an extra $20 a week. You can buy all the pins you need with that," Ed conceded.

"Ok. I guess I can give it a try," Brenda conceded. "It would be good to save money. But my name has to be on all our accounts."

"That's my girl," and Ed kissed her on the cheek.

Even though she didn't really want to buy anything beyond her allowance, the idea of someone telling her how much she could spend didn't sit well with her. But she knew that saving money was a good thing so she resolved to live within her budget. "Besides," she reasoned, "If there's an emergency I have my credit cards."

Neither Brenda nor Ed had the time or the interest in maintaining their lawn so they found someone who would keep the grass mowed for a reasonable amount. That left weeding the flower beds and trimming the shrubbery. They agreed that Brenda would do the weeding and Ed would trim the shrubs. So one day Brenda went into their outbuilding to get the hoe and the weed killer and was surprised to find a tall box with a tarp over it in the corner. Removing the tarp she saw a new set of very expensive golf clubs so she removed the golf bag and clubs and carried them into the house and put them on the living room floor. That was the first thing Ed saw when he entered the room, and he knew Brenda was waiting for his explanation. He recovered quickly but when he tried to kiss her she pulled away.

"I need them for my business" was his simple explanation.

"Business? You need a new set of clubs for your business? Your old ones aren't good enough?"

"Yes, Brenda, I need them for my business. Some of my clients are expert golfers and a lot of deals are closed on the golf course," Ed's tone was condescending.

"I don't believe you, Ed. If this was just a business expense it would have been charged to your business account."

"So, you've been checking up on me?" His tone changed to anger.

"The card has my name on it too, Ed. I'm entitled to check the account. And if you needed them you would have discussed it with me first," she added.

"I don't need to discuss my business expenses with you, Brenda. You have no say in my business."

"You used our personal account, Ed. And I have as much say over that as you do," Brenda wasn't budging.

Ed could see that this argument was going nowhere so he stalked out of the house. When he returned several hours later, Brenda was nowhere to be found. An hour later she returned with several purchases from some upscale department stores.

"What do you have there?" Ed asked.

"You told me we have a business dinner party to go to next month so I bought a new dress and shoes for it. After all, it's a business expense," Brenda added sarcastically.

"This is childish behavior." Ed was clearly irritated.

"So, it's only childish when I spend money? It's only a reasonable expense when you spend money?" Brenda was defiant.

"I'm not going to fight with you," Ed replied. "But if I'm going to be the one managin' the money, I have to be the one making the spendin' decisions. Think about that."

"No, Ed. My salary is in the bank too. We have to make spendin' decisions together. So you think about that."

Ed knew he wasn't going to win this fight by continuing the argument so he decided the best he could do was to sideline it. "Ok. I should have told you about the golf clubs. But since it's a business expense I didn't think about it. I'm sorry," he added with a contrite expression.

Brenda relaxed. "I'm sorry too. Do you want me to take the dress back? I'm willin' to do that, but I'm keepin' the shoes."

"Let's see you in it."

So Brenda tried it on for him and he had to admit that she looked fantastic. "Well, you will certainly impress the clients. So you can keep it."

Brenda was somewhat uncomfortable with Ed giving her permission to keep her purchase but she had to admit that she had given him that power when she asked about returning it. She made a mental note never to give him that authority again as she hung the dress in the closet.

Two weeks later she was handed another difficult case and again found herself working late. And again when she returned home exhausted she saw the lights on. "What now?" Brenda asked herself wearily.

Just like before Ed was waiting for her with a scowl on his face. "Where have you been?" he demanded.

"You know where I've been, Ed. I've been workin'."

"Is all this overtime necessary? Or is this an excuse to stay away and not do what you should be doin'?"

"What I should be doin', Ed, is solvin' crimes and takin' armed criminals off the street. That's what I should be doin'." Brenda was once again defiant.

"Look at this place. It's a mess. Every dish is dirty and the floors haven't been vacuumed in a week. That's what you should be doin'. And you might try cookin' a meal for your husband every once in a while."

"I don't see your arms in casts, Ed. If the dishes need doin' then do them. And you can operate a vacuum cleaner too. And how about you doin' some cookin'? You're as capable as I am."

"Cookin' and cleanin' the house are your jobs. You're the wife," Ed replied.

"Where is that rule written down? I've been workin' longer hours than you have. This is the twenty-first century. If somethin' needs doin' then think Nike, Ed. 'Just do it'. Get off your royal throne and just do it."

After that fight Ed didn't complain about a messy house again and they formed a working truce which lasted for the next three weeks. But Brenda felt she always had to walk on eggshells around Ed.

The business dinner was a success. An investment deal was reached. And after the meal they all went to a local club to listen to some excellent live music and to dance. Brenda's new dress was obviously appreciated by everyone in their group and she was really enjoying the music and dancing. Brenda danced with her husband. A few minutes later the client asked her to dance. Ed's eyes narrowed quickly, but just as quickly he smiled and nodded so they danced.

Toward the end of the evening a man at the bar approached their table and asked Brenda to dance. Just as she was about to accept, Ed gave her a look intending to stop her. But she wanted to dance so she got up from her chair and moved onto the dance floor. Ed never took his eyes from them as they moved to the music. When she returned to the table, she saw his eyes narrow but he said nothing until they said goodnight to the clients and the valet had brought their car around. As soon as they were in the car, the argument started.

"You couldn't get enough of that guy," Ed said bitterly.

"Don't be ridiculous. It was just a dance. Nothin' more."

"How dare you embarrass me by actin' like that in front of clients?" he accused.

"Actin' like what? It was not a slow dance and we weren't even touchin' each other."

"So you see nothin' wrong with actin' like a slut?" Ed came back at her when they got inside the house.

Brenda was shocked. "What did you call me?"

"You heard me. Watchin' you slitherin' around the floor with that guy was disgustin'. What do you think the clients were thinkin'?"

"I don't think they thought anythin' about it, Ed. It was just a fast dance. Nothin' more." And she went into the bedroom, slammed the door and locked it.

The next morning, Ed was still asleep in the spare room but, since Brenda didn't want to deal with him, she tiptoed out of the house and went to work. A few hours later a florist delivered a bouquet of red roses with an apology note and a declaration of love from Ed. She was surprised and she put the flowers on the edge of her desk but she ignored the questioning looks of her fellow officers and kept her smile in place.

When she got home it was apparent that Ed thought that the flowers and the note had wiped the slate clean so he was in a good mood. Brenda wasn't. But she didn't want to continue the fight, either. Although she decided to let the issue drop, his words last night stayed with her and continued to hurt.

Ed noticed her subdued mood so he became extra loving and attentive. When she resisted his advances he kept pushing. "Come on, baby. I apologized. What more can I do?"

"Nothin'. Let's just let it drop."

"No. I won't let it drop. Even though you had no business dancin' with that guy, a complete stranger, I decided to forgive you. Why can't you forgive me?"

"Words have power. More power than flowers, Ed," Brenda said softly.

"Come on, baby. I'm sorry. Let me show you how sorry I am."

Brenda could see that he wasn't going to let it drop so in order to get him to stop, she gave in. It was probably the worst sex Brenda had ever had. She felt terrible and just went through the motions. Ed, however, didn't seem to either notice or care that his wife wasn't satisfied. It seemed to Brenda that he had met his objective. He thought everything had been made right between them.

With a heavy heart she went into work early the next morning. As she entered the squad room she saw the roses on her desk and her stomach churned. She threw them in the waste basket and covered them with paper so no one would notice. She skipped lunch with the girls because she didn't want any questions or comments about the flowers.

A pattern had developed in their marriage. Arguments were followed by Ed's demand for sex and then a period of uneasy coexistence. But Ed didn't seem to notice that Brenda was becoming more and more unhappy.

One morning, after another night of fighting and Ed's attempt to make everything right by insisting on ending the argument with sex, Brenda was surprised when Commander Lindley entered the squad room and called her up to the murder board with him. He announced to everyone that due to her solving a very grisly and highly publicized triple homicide he was promoting her to the rank of Captain and that she would be heading up the squad. In addition to her promotion, Brenda was especially gratified when every one of her coworkers rose to their feet and applauded.

But her good mood was immediately deflated when she returned home with dinner and happily told Ed about her promotion. His expression of happiness seemed to have a hollow ring to it so she warily anticipated another fight. And it came.

"What's the matter? You don't seem happy," Brenda observed.

"It's just that I was hopin' you'd quit your job and we could start a family."

This set Brenda back on her heels. "With all the fightin' lately you want to start a family?"

"We wouldn't fight if only we had children. We'd both be so much happier," Ed replied.

"Well, I'm not ready to start a family now. I like my job and I want to continue to work."

"Oh, sure. You just want to be surrounded by all those adorin' men. You love that, don't you?" Ed's voice was bitter.

"Oh, for heavens sake," Brenda said in exasperation. She went into the bedroom and slammed the door.

The next morning, as Brenda was moving into her own office, the Commander accompanied by a handsome younger officer entered her new office. "Capt. Johnson, this is Det. James Lance. I am assignin' him to your squad to serve as your adjutant. Brenda was taken aback. Truthfully, this guy was gorgeous. And while she knew she would definitely be busy running the squad, she didn't quite know what she would do with an adjutant. She didn't have long to figure that out. The next day she was handed another extremely difficult case so several more long working days and nights ensued.

A few days later, Ed made an unannounced visit to the squad room to see this young adjutant for himself. He smiled to Det. Lance as he introduced himself and joked that since he could no longer see his wife at night, he'd just decided to see her during the day. But Brenda knew that his smile was fake and that his words were a landmine.

Sure enough, their worst arguments ensued immediately upon her return home. And once again, Ed tried to resolve them with sex. And, as before, Brenda found herself giving in against her will. This went on for over a month. Brenda found herself unable to sleep and with no appetite. Again, her beloved chocolate wasn't able to rescue her.

"I'm no better than a prostitute," Brenda thought driving in to work one morning. "I'm sellin' myself for a few hours of peace and quiet. No prostitute would work that cheap." Brenda was sick over the state of her marriage but didn't know what to do about it. "I wonder if marriage counselin' would help?" she asked herself. "I wonder if Ed would agree to go?" It was a Friday so she had the upcoming weekend to talk about marriage counseling with Ed. She would wait for an opportune moment, bring it up, and hope for the best.

But Ed rejected the idea. "We don't need marriage counselin'. You just need to learn how to be a proper wife," Ed reasoned. So the arguments followed by Ed's version of makeup sex continued.

A month later, midway through interviewing a witness, there was a knock on the interview room door. Det. Lance rose to answer it and was told that Commander Lindley wanted to see Brenda immediately so she indicated that Det. Lance should conclude the interview and she left immediately. She was confused because the Commander had never interrupted an interview before.

Commander Lindley greeted her somberly and with no small talk asked her to sit down. He picked up a red folder which was on his desk. Brenda knew what the red folder signified. Red folders were only used by Internal Affairs. But she couldn't think of why IA would be interested in her or anyone in her squad.

The Commander cleared up her confusion immediately. He explained that her husband had lodged a complaint with him that she had begun an affair with Det. Lance. Brenda was floored. All the breath went out of her, her jaw dropped, and she couldn't speak. The Commander then said that he had no doubts that she was innocent but that these accusations, especially coming from her husband, could not be dismissed. He had no choice but to forward the matter to Internal Affairs and that the charge was sexual misconduct. But, since he believed that she would be found innocent she would not be placed on administrative leave and would continue to work at her present rank and salary during the investigation. If, however, IA concluded that she indeed was having an affair with Det. Lance, or any other APD officer, she could possibly be demoted or terminated. Det. Lance was also being notifed of a similar charge and an investigation against him.

Brenda was crushed. She went back to her office, locked the door behind her and cried. After awhile there was a knock on the door. It was Det. Lance and she let him in.

"Jim, I don't know how to apologize to you," Brenda stammered as she fought back more tears. "I'm so sorry."

"Captain, I don't know how this could have happened. Have I ever given you any reason to think we had more than just a work relationship?" He didn't sound angry, just confused.

"No. No, of course not. I never, ever thought of you as more than a good detective and a wonderful adjutant," Brenda replied in earnest. "You have to understand. My husband is an extremely jealous man and he's constantly worried that I work mostly with men. He doesn't understand..." her voice broke off as she choked back more tears.

Jim just nodded. "So, what's next? I've never had to deal with IA before?" He asked in misery.

"Neither have I. I guess we just cooperate our best with IA and wait. They'll probably explain everythin' to us." But, even as she spoke, she knew that IA would explain virtually nothing.

Jim nodded without looking reassured.

"Do you want to go back to your old squad? I'm sure the Commander would understand and let you go back. Then you wouldn't have to see me or deal with me at all." Brenda volunteered.

"No," Jim shook his head. "I don't know what the right procedure is in cases like this," he admitted. "But if I were to go back I think it would look like I was admittin' guilt. And I'm not guilty of any misconduct. Besides, I like workin' in this unit. And I like workin' with you. I'm learnin' a lot about good police investigatin' from you, and I want to continue."

"I don't know what the best thing to do is, either, Jim. I just don't want to do somethin' that would damage either of our careers," Brenda said. "I wish I knew what the best thing to do is. You deserve a supervisor who knows these things. But please know how sorry I am that you have to be involved in the problems in my marriage." Even though she tried to stop them, the tears came again.

"Captain, this is not your fault. I know that. And I'm sure that IA will figure it out soon. Please tell me I can stay in this unit. I don't want to miss out on this great opportunity," Jim begged.

"You can stay. Certainly. But if you ever feel that it's just not worth it you have to promise me that you'll come to me first and let me arrange for your transfer. Please let me do that much for you."

"I promise, Captain." Jim attempted a smile. "But I'm probably gonna need someone to keep me from punchin' your husband's lights out."

"I wish I could let you," Brenda smiled back. "You have no idea how satisfyin' that would be for both of us right now."

This was the last straw. Brenda knew her marriage was irreparably broken. At noon she first went to the Post Office and opened up a P.O. Box in her name only. Then she went to the bank and withdrew half of the money in all of their joint accounts and transferred everything to a new account in her name only. And before she left for the day, she went up to the personnel office, changed her address to the P.O. Box, and directed that all future paychecks be deposited to her new checking account. She also called her credit card companies and closed her accounts and opened new accounts in her name only. Then she called a locksmith and made an appointment for him to come tomorrow and change all the locks on the house.

"Now," she thought, "I'm ready to go home. Get ready, Ed. It's on" She left work early and when she got home she took all of Ed's things from their closet and the master bathroom and put them all in the guest bedroom at the far end of the hall.

Ed knew that there would be a huge fight over his complaint that night. But since he was sure he was right, he felt his action was vindicated. Nevertheless, Brenda's first statement surprised him.

"I want a divorce." Her tone was flat and the coldest he had ever heard.

"You cheat on me and you're the one wantin' a divorce?" he asked, incredulous.

"I have never cheated on you, Ed. Not once. And your action has jeopardized, not only a career I have worked for fifteen years to achieve, but that of an innocent man as well." There still was nothing but cold fury in her tone.

"That's bullshit! I know you're fuckin' him. Why else would you be such a cold fish in bed?"

"Well, Ed, maybe it's because of the way you're treatin' me. You think you're such a great lover that all you have to do is make love to me and I'll immediately see that you're right about everythin'? Well, I've got a news flash for you, buster. You're not that good a lover," she taunted. "And this marriage is over."

"Oh, so that's how it is, huh? I suppose Detective Lance is the world's best lover?"

"I wouldn't know, Ed. I've never slept with him. And I have no intention of sleepin' with him." Brenda didn't tell her husband that she had spent more than a few stray minutes fantasizing about that very thing but that she had brushed those thoughts from her mind. She had no intention of straying outside her marriage. Will Pope had done exactly that and it caused her incredible pain so she was not about to try the same thing. "But I'm sure that any man I could find could give me better sex than I get from you."

"You goddam bitch!" Ed's face was beet red and every vein in his neck was popping out. For a minute he just stared at her. Then he moved toward her with his hand upraised.

"You want to hit me? You think that you're such a big man that you can hit me? Well, go ahead, you sorry excuse for a husband. Go ahead. Take your best shot."

Brenda's tone which had turned to pure venom stopped him in his tracks.

She continued, "But if you do, it'll be somethin' you'll regret for the rest of your sorry life. You'll be under arrest for domestic violence and the assault and battery of a police officer. You might get away with probation for the domestic violence charge but you'll do prison time for the assault and battery charge. Think about it, Mr. Tough Guy. District attorneys and judges loathe people who attack police officers and they throw the book at them."

Brenda saw that her words were having the desired effect so she continued, "Do you want to lose your bondin'? Your job? Your whole career? That's what you tried to take away from me. That would certainly be poetic justice, wouldn't it?"

Ed continued to stare at her for a minute, then spun around, grabbed his car keys, and left. Brenda sighed in relief and then locked and dead bolted the doors. Before going to bed she called Clay, Jr. and asked if he could come over in the morning and help her move all of Ed's things into the garage.

The next morning, Clay, Jr., Bobby and Clay showed up bright and early. Even though they all knew that Brenda was unhappy she had never told them anything about the state of her marriage so they all were full of questions. She knew the sensationalism of the charge made it likely that the newspapers would get the story, so she told them that she and Ed fought constantly because of his insane jealousy and she told them about the IA charge. She was incredibly grateful that they didn't feel the need to ask her if the charges had any merit. "At least my family still has some faith in me," she thought. They just hugged her and told her how sorry they were.

Just as they were beginning to work, Ed's car drove up. Brenda watched from the living room window but made no effort to go out and speak to him. All three men stood in the driveway glaring at Ed and barring his entrance. Clay walked up to him and informed him that all of his things were being moved to the garage. He assured Ed that his things would be safe and that he would be permitted to bring a truck to retrieve them. However, he would have to give notice to Clay personally so that he and his sons could be there to make sure there would be no trouble. And Clay reminded him that he owned the house and ordered Ed not to step foot on his property again without his permission unless he wanted trespassing charges filed against him. Ed just nodded, got back in his car and drove away.


	5. Chapter 5

With the house scrubbed clean of every trace of Ed Harper, Brenda could finally breathe easier. But she still had to go back to work on Monday and face the IA investigation.

She was right. There was an article about the sexual misconduct charges in Monday's morning edition of the paper. And when she entered the squad room, it was uncharacteristically quiet and every eye was on her. Jim was waiting for her in her office.

"Did you have to run the gauntlet this mornin'?" she asked.

"No. I wasn't named in the article. But I'm sure they've figured out who the other person is. They just didn't say anythin'."

"I'm so sorry, Jim. I wish this wasn't happenin' to you," Brenda apologized again.

"It's not your fault, Captain. I know we'll get through this." Jim tried to sound positive.

Brenda nodded then asked "Have you been contacted by IA yet?"

"No. Have you?"

"I see there's an email from them askin' me to set up an appointment to meet with them."

"Oh, I haven't checked my email yet."

"Well, let's not dwell on it now. We've got to mop up this case first," Brenda said. And with that, they were both back in working mode.

The Internal Affairs Department was known for their excruciating attention to detail. Every police officer in the APD hated IA so Brenda and Jim had a lot of sympathetic support, even though no one brought it up specifically.

But when lunchtime rolled around, Brenda found she couldn't dodge her friends' sympathetic curiosity. Norma especially wanted to know all the details but all Brenda would say was that she finally could not cope any longer with Ed's jealousy and that they had separated. She felt she had to say that much since the IA complaint had so quickly become common knowledge. Norma then said what everyone knew to be true, "So Ed was the one who filed the complaint."

"Yes," Brenda sighed but added no other information.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Norma pushed.

"We separated this weekend and I guess the next step is to contact a lawyer." Brenda knew that Ed would probably talk to Stan. And while Brenda knew that he would paint her as a cheating whore, she just didn't feel like telling her friends everything that had happened.

One of the other girls said "My brother-in-law is a divorce attorney," and she wrote down his name on a napkin and handed it to Brenda. "I'm sorry I don't know his office number but he's listed in the phone book."

Brenda accepted it gratefully. "Is he any good?"

"I guess he must be. They're rich, if that tells you anythin'," she replied.

"Ok. I'll probably call him. I suppose I need to start with a formal separation agreement." Brenda was not ready yet to admit that she'd already asked Ed for a divorce even though she knew that Stan would tell Norma as soon as he got home tonight.

When she got back to the office, she looked up the attorney's phone number, called and made an appointment and when it came time to meet with the attorney, Paul Larson, Brenda took a copy of the prenup she and Ed had signed as well as all the documentation of their finances that she had. She was grateful that she hadn't cleaned out their desk when she moved all of Ed's things to the garage. Otherwise she would have virtually no information to show the attorney.

"Capt. Johnson," it looks like there are a few issues we'll be needin' to straighten out. Do you know the name of your husband's attorney?"

"No, sir. Not yet. I haven't had any contact with him since he moved out so I don't think he knows I'm seein' you today."

"Please. Call me Paul. 'Sir' and 'Mr. Larson' are formalities I like to reserve for the opposition," he said with a grin.

"Thank you. And please call me Brenda. Do I have to file for a separation first or can I just file for divorce?"

"We'll file for a divorce, if you're absolutely sure that's what you want, and if he has an attorney, that'll flush him out."

"I'm absolutely sure that's what I want, Paul."

"So there's no chance of a reconciliation? Have you tried marriage counselin'?"

"No. No chance. Ed refused counselin' and after everythin' that has happened, I don't think it would do any good."

"All right. If that's the way you feel then I think a divorce is the best way to go." Brenda nodded so he continued, "I see he makes quite a bit more money than you do so we'll ask for spousal support as well as a cash settlement. Now tell me about your house."

Brenda described the arrangement that Clay had made with them and concluded by saying, "I'm sure that Daddy's investment is protected."

"Not necessarily," Paul said. "Your husband's attorney will claim that the house was, in effect, a weddin' present. And if any of your husband's money has gone to pay the mortgage and other housing expenses, he could have a legitimate claim on the house."

"What?" Brenda was alarmed. "Even though Daddy's name is the only one on the deed?"

"I'm afraid so. Of course, we'll defend your father's sole title to the house but the judge will make the final decision. Your father might want to discuss this situation with his own attorney."

Brenda felt sick. She couldn't bear the thought that her father's generosity might backfire on him. She realized that she needed to warn her daddy so she drove directly to her parents' home. When she entered the house Willie Ray was surprised to see Brenda in the middle of a work day. "Don't tell me that you and Ed have decided to reconcile."

"No, Mama. We haven't, and we won't. Is Daddy here?"

"Yes, he's in the garage. I'll call him," and Willie Ray stepped to the back door and called her husband. When Clay entered they sat at the kitchen table and listened while Brenda told them what her lawyer had told her.

"Do you really think he would try to get your house?" Mama asked.

"Yes, Mama. I'm afraid he would. He can afford a very high power attorney and I'm sure that he'll counterfile and ask for the house."

"I'll call my lawyer right away, honey. Don't you worry. This'll all work out," Clay assured his daughter.

Despite her daddy's assurances, Brenda worried all the way home. And, as agreed, she drove to Paul's office to sign the paperwork on her lunch hour the next day. She was surprised to see that Paul had asked for an order of protection. While she knew that her description of Ed threatening to hit her was at the root of the request, she was afraid it would just inflame him. Until now he had been content to just come and get his things. He hadn't harassed her in any way. But she didn't know what he would do after he read the petition for an order of protection.

As expected, Brenda's position as a Captain with the APD moved Paul's petition to the top of the pile. The judge issued the order of protection immediately and scheduled an initial hearing on Paul's entire petition. He also ordered that the case record be sealed to protect both parties' privacy.

Meanwhile, Clay's attorney and Paul agreed that, while Paul would keep him advised on any matters concerning the house, only Paul would be involved if no house issues surfaced.

Also as expected, Ed countersued. He requested possession of the house as well as spousal support and a large financial settlement from Brenda to cover his pain and suffering as well as the negative effects her adulterous behavior had on his career.

At the initial hearing, the judge reaffirmed the order of protection and issued a temporary order requiring Ed to pay Brenda spousal support. But he also ordered that both parties submit to mediation in order to attempt to settle their petitions outside the courtroom. No decision was made regarding the house except the judge agreed to permit Brenda to continue to occupy the house and emphasized to Ed that obeying the order of protection meant that he was not to step foot on the property until a final decree was entered.

As they left the courtroom Paul took her aside and warned her that Ed's attorney would probably recommend a private eye since they have to prove their allegations of infidelity. "Don't worry, Paul. I'm not involved with anyone and I don't intend to be. I'll be very careful," Brenda assured him.

"I know that police officers often like to go out for a drink or have a party when they get a conviction. I would think twice about that. But since you're the Captain of your unit if you feel you must go be sure you're with another woman the entire time," Paul advised. "And no datin' at all. Your social life will just have to wait until this is over."

"Don't worry, Paul. I am not gonna be datin' anyone for a long time," Brenda promised.

Brenda was feeling very good about where she stood but Paul cautioned her that this was just preliminary and that the judge was only following what had become routine. He emphasized to her that the battle had not yet begun and that the final decision might not necessarily go in her favor. So she started a separate savings account for Ed's spousal support payments and decided to put them all aside just in case she had to pay them back. And, if she didn't, she would put them toward paying Paul's bill.

Even though her daddy had volunteered to pay her attorney's fees, she declined his offer. She felt her marriage had been her doing and dissolving it was also her responsibility. She was extremely thankful for the hefty raise her promotion had given her and, even though she was no longer on an imposed strict budget, she placed herself on an even more stringent budget because Paul's services were going to be expensive.

As expected, she soon identified a man who was following her. She was able to get his license plate and ran it through the DMV database. He was a private eye and she saw him every time she left the office. She resisted the urge to pull over and wave to him as he drove by. No. Better he think that she had no idea she was being followed. As a result Brenda had a chaperone no matter what time of day she left the office. The worst thing he observed was her stopping for Thai food on her way home. She attended one party at a local restaurant but she moved around the room speaking to men only when other women were present, had only one glass of wine, left early, and drove straight home.

During the mediation hearing Paul stated that the accusation that his client had committed adultery was without merit and he requested that this particular charge be withdrawn. As Ed's attorney started to decline to withdraw the charge, Ed interrupted him, leaned over the table toward Brenda and hissed, "You goddam bitch! You know you were fuckin' the men in your squad."

Brenda started to fire back but Paul's hand on her arm stopped her. Paul looked him right in the eye and said, "You'll have a chance to present your evidence, if lightnin' should strike, and you actually have evidence about any adulterous behavior on my client's part. But be warned, Mr. Harper, if you don't withdraw this baseless charge and you don't have evidence which will withstand the scrutiny of the court you will be sued. Are you sure you want to risk a lawsuit?"

Ed's attorney responded, "We don't need threats here. That's not the purpose of this meetin', counselor. We're here to try to resolve the terms of the separation and divorce agreement. My client is asking for one half of the furniture. And that's a very minimal request since his salary paid for about seventy-five percent of the furniture and appliances."

Paul saw Brenda shaking her head no so he replied, "Do you have receipts and the proof that your client paid seventy-five percent? If so, lay it out and we'll discuss it."

"My client is also requestin' possession of the marital dwellin'." Ed's attorney evidently was abandoning the request for the furniture for now. Oddly the furniture was one request which Brenda thought was fair. She had been mentally dividing up the furniture but immediately had decided not to surrender any of the appliances without a fight when the subject suddenly changed.

"As I'm sure you are aware, counselor, my client's father owns that house. His name is the only one on the deed. Therefore it is up to him to decide that dwellin's occupancy and, not surprisingly, he's decided that the occupant should be his daughter."

Since both attorneys agreed not to contest the prenuptial agreement Brenda and Ed had signed and there was no child custody issue, the meeting was a short one. After Ed and his attorney had left the room, Brenda turned to Paul and said "I think splittin' the furniture is fair. But there are certain pieces I want. Do you want me to make a list for you?"

Paul agreed that a list would be a good idea. And he said that it would be helpful if Brenda would make a note as to why she wanted the special pieces. And he suggested that she do the same for the appliances.

"Those appliances came with the house," Brenda told him.

"In that case they should stay with the house."

"What do you think the chances are that Ed could actually get the house?" Brenda was worried.

"He won't get title to the house. But since he has apparently paid toward the mortgage the judge could order that he be compensated. Of course we'll argue that his share of the mortgage payment, taxes and upkeep was his contribution to the marriage and as such should not be attached to the house. We still have a couple of cards up our sleeve so don't worry yet. I will call your daddy's lawyer to advise him about today's meetin' but I really don't think you need to be worryin'."

Since both attorneys reported that no real progress had been made in the mediation the judge set a date for the divorce petitions to be heard.

In the meantime, Brenda divided her time between her job and socializing primarily with her family since she didn't dare go out too frequently with her squad and dating was out of the question. And the IA investigation inched along. Finally, Brenda was summoned to Commander Lindley's office. The Internal Affairs investigator was there waiting for her as well. After she was seated the Commander said "The Internal Affairs investigation into the charges of sexual misconduct has concluded. I'll let the Captain discuss the findin's with us both."

The Captain cleared his throat and began by saying, "This is gonna be a brief report, Capt. Johnson. A more complete summary of our findin's will be given to you later. We thoroughly investigated the charge against you. We interviewed not only you but Det. James Lance and every member of your team as well as several of your support staff. To a man they all attested to your professional conduct and your moral character. And they all denied that you have ever acted in an inappropriate way with any APD personnel. Therefore, as there is no evidence whatsoever of any improprieties, we are closin' this case. You have been cleared, Captain."

"And Det. Lance?" Brenda asked.

"He also has been completely cleared."

Brenda was overjoyed and felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. With tears in her eyes she thanked the Commander and the Captain and walked with her head held high into the murder room. She smiled and nodded at Jim Lance and stepped up to the murder board. All eyes were on her.

"I've just come from the Commander's office and the IA investigation is closed. I have been completely cleared of any wrongdoin'." Again she had to fight back tears as she continued, "I want to thank you so much for your support. I know it's been difficult for all of you and I am so appreciative of your help."

"All we did was tell the truth, Captain. We knew you were innocent," the detective nearest to where she was standing spoke up and every head nodded in agreement.

Brenda continued to throw her all into her cases. And every night as she drove home she saw the private eye watching her. "Where did they find this guy? He doesn't know anythin' about surveillance," Brenda told herself. Finally one night when she retrieved her mail from the mailbox, she saw an envelope from the court. When she got into the house she stood at the kitchen counter and ripped the envelope open and read the letter. As anticipated the court had set a date to hear her divorce petition and Ed's counterpetition. She had previously sent a copy of the final IA report to Paul with a request that he beat Ed over the head with it.

As expected, Paul submitted the result of the IA investigation as evidence. He also requested that if Ed or his attorney had hired a private eye, that his name be given to the court so that he could be subpoened to testify as to the results of his investigation. Ed's attorney stood up and stipulated that their private eye was unable to obtain any evidence of infidelity or sexual promiscuity on the part of Mrs. Harper.

But the attorney presented an impassioned plea for his client to obtain sole possession of the house. Clay's attorney, who was in the room seated on the other side of Brenda jumped to his feet and presented a certified copy of the deed showing that Clay Johnson was the sole owner of the property in question. He also presented documentation that Clay had paid a full fifty percent of the price of the house and, therefore, as the sole owner and the person who had paid a large majority of the price of the house, that the house was rightfully his and that Clay Johnson had the sole right to determine who the occupant of that house would be.

Just as Ed's attorney was about to speak again, the judge gaveled him to silence and requested that each attorney submit their client's financial information. And he asked both Brenda and Ed to rise. He addressed them both saying that it is all too frequently his sad duty to preside over the ending of marriages and that he intended to be as fair as possible to both parties. He then adjourned the hearing so that he could examine the documents and told them that they would receive his decree by mail.

Out in the hallway, Brenda asked Paul how long he thought the judge would take. Paul replied that since there were no child custody issues or visitation issues to be decided that he could rule fairly quickly. But he cautioned that the speed with which the judge would issue his decision would largely depend on the number of cases he has on his docket.

"So, what your sayin' is that we'll hear when we hear," Brenda said dryly.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Paul replied.

About six weeks later, Brenda saw another envelope from the court in her mailbox. This one was thick. She carried it into the house, poured herself a glass of Merlot and sat down in the living room to read it.

The divorce was granted and Brenda was given permission to legally use her maiden name again. Ed's petition to be granted sole possession of the house was denied as was his petition for damages resulting from his alleged pain and suffering since no evidence of adultery had been presented. The order of protection was indefinitely extended.

Neither party was granted the cash settlement they'd sought but Brenda was granted monthly spousal support to continue until such time as she remarries. However, Clay Johnson was ordered to pay a lump sum amount of $25,000 to Ed as compensation for his share of the mortgage payments. When Brenda read that, she jumped for the phone and called Paul's office. He was not in so Brenda then called her father who, as she expected, was not happy.

"Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry that Ed would do somethin' like this to you. And that judge seemed to think that Ed was the only one payin' on the mortgage." Even though the amount ordered was much less than her lawyer warned her to anticipate, she was sick that Ed was awarded anything at all.

"It's not your fault, little girl. Don't worry about it. I can afford it." Clay sounded deflated.

"No, Daddy. I'll pay it. He can keep his spousal payments until the amount is paid back. You shouldn't have to pay him a dime. Bastard!" That slipped out before Brenda could stop it. Surprisingly, Clay didn't scold her for it.

"No, the order says a lump sum so I'll transfer some funds and get a cashiers check in the mornin' and drop it off at my lawyer's office. He can take care of it. I don't want anythin' to do with the lot of them."

Again, Brenda apologized. "I'm so sorry, Daddy. You were givin' us a wonderful gift and for Ed to treat you this way..." her voice trailed off.

"At least you're done with him. We need to celebrate that."

"Oh, Daddy. I don't feel like celebratin'. I just want to wake up and realize that this whole thing has just been a nightmare."

"I don't blame you there, darlin. And now that Ed is out of the picture I'm transferrin' title of the house to your name."

"Daddy! You don't need to do that." Brenda was amazed.

"I told you that the house was a wedding gift to you so it's time to do it."

"Thank you, Daddy. You've been just wonderful to me." Brenda choked back tears and resolved to save her support payments and use them to repay the $25,000 to her father but she didn't tell him about her plan. She knew that he would refuse it.

Brenda had crawled out of her marriage and was emotionally exhausted. But murders didn't wait for her to recover so once again she had no choice but to throw herself into her work. The days and nights passed in a familiar pattern: work, home, work, home, and parents on the weekend. Since she wasn't dating anyone there wasn't any social life outside her family. Eventually men began asking her out again and even though they seemed like nice guys she just wasn't interested. So she continued to make excuses why she couldn't go out with any of them and spent her nights alone in her house.

One evening while she was watching an old movie on TV her phone rang. Her caller ID said LAPD. It took her a minute to realize that the call was from Los Angeles. She picked it up and since it was a police agency calling, she answered it by saying "Captain Brenda Leigh Johnson."

She was stunned to hear Will Pope's voice at the other end of the call. "Brenda, this is Will Pope."

For a minute she couldn't speak. No sound would come. Finally she was able to say "Yes, Will, I recognize your voice."

"How are you, Brenda?" Will's voice was soft and solicitous.

"I'm just fine, Will. Thank you for askin'." Brenda struggled to keep her tone neutral.

"This is a professional call," Will explained, his voice changing to match his words. "I'm now an Assistant Chief for the LAPD."

"Congratulations," Brenda replied in a non-congratulatory tone.

"Thank you. As you may know the LAPD has had some major setbacks in some of our high profile cases going back to the OJ case. We've also had our share of scandals due to police officer negligence and misconduct."

"Mmm hmm, I've read about some of those," Brenda replied even though the only thing she even vaguely remembered was the OJ case.

"In order to clean things up, about a year ago I established a new unit called the Priority Murder Squad. It was designed to deal with high profile cases to prevent us from continuing to bungle cases and to clean up some of the scandals."

"Oh," was all Brenda could think to say but she wondered what this all had to do with her and why, after all this time, Will called her out of the blue. "How is it workin'?" Brenda added, prompting Will for more information. She was still trying to figure out why he was calling her.

"Not well. Unfortunately the officer in charge is not effective. He seems to want to take too many shortcuts and be more of a buddy and less of a supervisor so we're not seeing the results we'd hoped for. That's why I'm calling you" Will explained. "I took the liberty of describing your skills and training to the Chief of the Los Angeles Police Department and he very much would like me to offer you the job of heading up this unit. Actually, he ordered me to contact you and to offer you the job."

"In Los Angeles?" was all Brenda could think of to say.

"Yes. You would enter at the rank of Deputy Chief and your previous law enforcement experience at both Metro and at the APD would be credited for purposes of seniority and the retirement system. You would supervise a squad of six elite detectives plus support personnel and you would be responsible for investigating the highest profile murder cases. I'd like to send you a packet of information and a letter which would lay out the terms of our offer to you."

"Well, yes. Certainly. When would you need my decision?"

"The Chief is doing some reorganization and I'll discuss the projected dates with him. All that should be in the packet. If you'd consider it I'll need your address so I can mail the packet to you."

She gave him her address and after she hung up the phone she dug her momento box out of the closet, sat back down on the sofa and once again looked at every item. It had been months since she'd done that and, for the first time in almost two years, she dreamed of Will that night.

The next day, Brenda found herself once again thinking about Will. Could she work for Will Pope again? Was she over him? Completely over him? Even though she told herself that she no longer shed tears over him and that she no longer mourned their relationship, she was not able to honestly answer those questions. It was less painful to spend her time solving murders so she continued to focus on her cases.

The packet arrived the following week. The terms floored her. As Will had promised, she would enter the LAPD at the rank of Deputy Chief. Her salary would be more than double what she was currently earning and the benefit package seemed exceptionally good. They also would pay all of her moving and storage expenses including putting her up at a hotel for up to three months until she could find a place to live.

Brenda thought long and hard about what it would be like to work for Will Pope again. And she made note that even though she had fond memories of their affair she no longer felt a tremendous sense of loss when she thought of him. And she was sure she no longer had any sexual desire for him. Or for any man, for that matter.

"Maybe Will and Ed turned me into a lesbian." Brenda giggled at the thought. "No. I definitely have not become a lesbian. I am just not looking for a relationship right now. Sex? Maybe. And when the right man comes along, I'll probably want some romance in my life again. But I don't want any man in my life right now."

After getting her feelings for Will squared away in her mind and after thoroughly studying the packet she signed the agreement and the next Sunday she met with her family to give them the news: she was moving to Los Angeles.


	6. Chapter 6

Brenda came out of her reverie and realized that if she didn't hurry she would be late for work. As she took her shower she thought about what a wonderful lover Fritz was. She had forgotten how good sex made her body feel. It seemed that every cell in her body was humming.

When she got to work she was immediately handed a new case. A Congresswoman's daughter had been raped and murdered. That evening, as Brenda was examining the crime scene for additional evidence, she was attacked and almost raped.

Back at Parker Center, after putting a butterfly bandaid on a head wound herself and discovering the bruises her attacker had left on her arms she called the one man she knew she could trust: Fritz. Even though it was late at night and she woke him from a sound sleep, the sound of her voice instantly brought him to full alert. He could hear that she was fighting back tears and immediately knew something terrible must have happened but she regained her composure without telling him what was wrong. So he got dressed and drove downtown to the Parker Center's parking garage to wait for her and take her home.

After he dressed her head wound and opened up the sleeper sofa he lay awake listening. He could hear Brenda. She moaned, cried, and whimpered in her sleep. Fritz wasn't sure what the right thing to do was but he decided against waking her up unless her crying out became louder. Gradually her agitation died down so he allowed himself to fall asleep.

In the morning he awoke to sounds of Brenda moving about the kitchen. She was fixing breakfast and the coffee smelled wonderful. So he got up, put the sofa bed back together and joined Brenda in the kitchen. She looked better than she had last night and she smiled at him so he kissed her lightly and said, "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks. I saved your things and I got out a towel and washcloth for you. Everythin' is on the counter in the bathroom."

"Thanks. A shower would feel really great about now."

While eating breakfast, Fritz asked, "Do you think you ought to have your doctor look at that head wound?"

"No, I think it'll be ok. Thanks for patchin' me up. You did a great job," Brenda smiled at him.

"Ok, but if you get a headache, maybe you should see a doctor. Are you going into work today?"

"Yes. The guy who did this to me isn't the same one who killed my victim so I have to keep workin'," Brenda explained.

They both put their dishes in the sink and Fritz turned and gave Brenda another light kiss. "Call me later. I want to know how you're holding up."

"Ok. Thanks for last night. You were a big help. Bye."

"Bye," and Fritz was out the door.

By nightfall he hadn't heard from Brenda so he drove back to Parker Center and up to the Murder Room to check on her. She looked more like her old self and seemed embarrassed that she had thrown herself so totally into her case that she forgot to call him. While he would have appreciated a call, he thought that her throwing herself completely into her work probably was a good sign.

Brenda worked through the night to catch the man who caused the murder and obtain his confession. When morning came she called Fritz and asked him to have breakfast with her.

As she drove to the restaurant to meet him, she thought about Fritz's words to her: "Being needed. That's the next best thing to being wanted, isn't it?"

"Do I want him or do I need him? And where does one begin and the other leave off?" She decided that, while she had needed him last night, she didn't _really_ need him. She could survive on her own if she had to. No. It was actually more of a _want_. She wanted him in her life. She wanted his friendship. She wanted to date him. And she wanted more great sex. She would find a way to let him know without giving away her heart. "I have to keep my guard up," she resolved.

After breakfast Fritz invited her to catch dinner that night. "Oh, Fritz, I'm sorry but I just can't. I'm exhausted. I don't think I could hold my head up. I think I really just need to take a long, hot bath and go to bed early." She wanted nothing more than to go out with him again but she knew she was vulnerable right now and she was still feeling rattled, stiff, and sore. She needed a little more time to pull herself together.

"I understand. And I agree. A hot bath and an early bedtime would be the best. Maybe in a couple of days you'll feel more like going out."

"I'd like that. And thanks for understandin'."

And he did understand. He wanted her to have whatever she needed to recover both physically and emotionally. "I'm no expert but I think if she knows that I am there for her in every way, that will help her," he reasoned as he drove to work. "I'll keep checking in with her."

He called her at work a few days later and asked about Friday night. "Does dinner and a movie sound good to you? Oh, I forgot. You don't go to movies. How about just dinner, then?"

Despite her need to protect herself she heard her voice betraying her, "I'd like to go to a movie, if there's a good one. Not somethin' that shoots someone or blows somethin' up every thirty seconds."

"Ahh. You want a chick flick. We can check what's playing and decide at dinner. How does that sound?"

"Ok. Dinner and who-knows-what movie Friday night."

"I'll pick you up at 7:00. Ok?"

"That sounds good. See you Friday night."

Pope entered her office just in time to hear Brenda's last sentence. "Got a date for Friday night?"

He was the last person that she wanted to discuss her social life with so she put her smile back in place and asked, "Can I help you, Will?"

"Oh, yes," Pope snapped back into Assistant Chief mode. "I want to hear more about the confession you got this morning. The reporters are calling."

Brenda updated him on the case and concluded by saying "But you already know this. You were in the electronics room when the wife confessed. The official transcript of the confession should be ready soon. I'll send a copy of it up to your office right away."

"Yes, but," Pope recovered. But just as he was about to continue Capt. Taylor appeared in the doorway and said, "Excuse me, Chief Johnson, but Robbery Homicide has a problem. Chief Pope, can I see you for a minute?"

"Certainly, Captain. No problem," Brenda replied. Then she turned back to Will and said, "I'll see if I can put a rush on that transcript for you."

Chief Pope nodded and he and Capt. Taylor left her unit. Brenda watched them leave. She was completely annoyed with Will. He had just come up with a lame excuse to try to get information about her dating life. She was sure of it. "Go home to Estelle, Will. You made your choice. I'm not gonna repeat a really bad mistake."

That evening, as she ate her TV dinner, she wasn't thinking about Will Pope. Instead memories of Fritz Howard filled her mind and body. She sighed with contentment. "He's such a great guy. And a real gentleman, too. Not to mention a great lover," Brenda sighed again. "There's nothin' better in the whole world than great sex," she told Kitty. "It even beats chocolate."

The remainder of the work week was somewhat boring. There was very little activity for her squad so on Thursday, much to the irritation of Capt. Taylor, Chief Pope told her to take a case from Robbery Homicide which he said was beginning to draw media attention. As Brenda reviewed the file she saw several glaring omissions in Robbery Homicide's investigation. "I will never understand how Ross was promoted to Detective. He should be workin' parkin' meters," Brenda muttered in disgust. And, as she anticipated, her squad solved the case in under twenty-four hours.

At the end of the day on Friday, Will came into Brenda's office to thank her for solving the case so quickly. "You kept the press from bashing the LAPD again," he praised her.

"It was nothin', Will. It was an easy case to solve." Brenda resisted the urge to openly criticize Robbery Homicide's mishandling the case but she was sure her point was made.

Will then started in on small talk that irritated Brenda. She was sure he was just trying to stall her leaving to get ready for her date. "I've got to go, Will. Have a good weekend," she said breezily and she grabbed her purse and left him sitting in her office.

Brenda stood in her underwear staring at the contents of her closet. "Why is it that this closet is full and I can't find anythin' to wear?" she muttered then pulled out a pair of beige slacks, studied them for a minute and and put them on. She looked at her row of tops before settling on a coral cashmere sweater and a light brown jacket which she put next to the door so she wouldn't forget it. Then she checked her hair and makeup, changing her lipstick twice before she decided on a brown lipstick.

"Go slow, Fritz, slow and easy," he reminded himself driving toward Brenda's home. "She's not ready to be swept off her feet." While she still refused to talk about whatever happened he was pretty sure that rape was involved. And, though he didn't know whether it was attempted or had actually happened, he knew that putting any kind of pressure on her would not be a good thing. No matter how normal she seemed, he hoped he could strike a balance between being an attentive date and a good, helpful friend. And, as much as he wanted it, he knew that sleeping with her so soon was definitely the wrong thing to do. "This could take a long time. I have to let her take the lead on that," he reasoned to himself.

Right at 7:00, Brenda heard a knock on her door. "Coming," she called out and moved toward the door while putting on her other earring. Fritz looked so sexy in his jeans and leather jacket that she had to fight to keep from smacking her lips. "It's so unfair that men don't have to spend nearly as much time gettin' ready for a date," Brenda thought as she smiled at him.

Fritz took one look at her and said "You look great." Then he took her jacket from the chair and helped her put it on.

Dinner was at a casual restaurant that was known for great burgers. Brenda pretended to study the menu while actually enjoying watching the teenage waitress shamelessly flirt with Fritz. Fritz saw Brenda trying to keep from laughing and, after the waitress took their drink orders and left, said "So, you love watching me twist in the wind, huh?"

"I figured that since you're a big FBI man that you could handle that particular jailbait without my help," Brenda shrugged. "Oh, wait... Was I supposed to arrest her for you?"

"That would have been helpful," Fritz pretended to be hurt by Brenda's failure to rescue him. "The least you could have done would have been to whip out your handcuffs and march her off to juvie." They both laughed.

Fritz changed the subject. "If you're not busy on Sunday I'd like to take you up to see Santa Barbara."

"You mean Stepford?"

"Yes, that's right. But don't worry. I'll bring you back with your soul intact."

"Now how could I pass up an opportunity like that?" Brenda smiled at him.

Their Diet Cokes arrived and they both placed the rest of their order.

After a movie that Brenda thought was incredibly unrealistic, and therefore as boring to her as it probably was to Fritz, he asked her if she'd like to stop and get something to eat.

"I'm not hungry. That burger and popcorn filled me up. But we can stop if you want somethin'."

"No, I guess not," he replied.

In the car they talked about the movie and laughed because some scenes were so ridiculous. Fritz said "If that's the kind of movie women like, I can see why you don't go to movies."

"I don't dislike movies. I just don't like bad ones. And I can never find the time for the good ones," Brenda explained.

"In the spirit of all work and no play we'll have to try again, then. And I'm sure we can pick something better than that one tonight."

"I'd like that." Brenda's smile was meant to encourage him.

When they got to Brenda's front door, Fritz took her key and unlocked the door for her and handed the key back to her. Before she could ask him to come in, he smiled, told her that he really enjoyed spending the evening with her, kissed her, said goodnight and that he'd pick her up at 10:00 Sunday morning and left her standing on her porch.

Brenda was disappointed that he left. But she knew that it was probably for the best since it was important that she take things slowly. "Slowly? Two dates in one weekend? Slowly? Really?" Brenda thought, more amused than irritated with her lack of resolve where Fritz Howard was concerned.

Brenda spent Saturday cleaning and doing laundry. She also called her mama and told her that she would not be home tomorrow for their normal Sunday afternoon chat because she was driving up to Santa Barbara with an old friend. Even though Mama tried her best, she could not get any information from Brenda about her "friend". Since the only chance she had to succeed when she lied to her mother was on the phone Brenda insisted that this was just an old friend she'd reconnected with when she moved to Los Angeles and there was nothing romantic involved. Although Mama wasn't really convinced, she knew Brenda wasn't going to give any more information so she began talking about flying out to Los Angeles to visit her daughter and see her new home. Brenda couldn't think of a way to tell her mama no without hurting her feelings so she ended the conversation by telling her that something was boiling over on the stove and she had to go.

Sunday morning, Fritz showed up promptly at 10:00 for their drive up to Santa Barbara. As they drove, Fritz told her that he'd brought along a surprise for her. This piqued her curiosity. "Is it bigger than a breadbox?" Brenda teased.

"I don't know. To tell you the truth I don't think I've ever seen a breadbox," he admitted.

Brenda laughed. "I think my grandmother had one. At least I think that's what it was. I think she kept bread in it."

"Well, how big was it?"

"I can't remember," Brenda laughed again.

They drove along chatting and laughing. As much as the roads would allow, they hugged the Pacific ocean. Fritz pulled over at several scenic spots so Brenda could see and appreciate the beautiful California coastline.

Finally they drove off the road and parked along a stretch of sandy beach. "It's time for your surprise," he said. They got out and Fritz opened the trunk and pulled out a picnic basket, a small cooler, and a blanket. He had stopped at a deli and picked up sandwiches, chips and cold drinks. And, because he knew Brenda's weakness, he also bought brownies.

After their leisurely picnic lunch Fritz drove into Santa Barbara and parked. They strolled the streets and poked their heads into the shops and just enjoyed the warm, sunny day. On the drive back to Los Angeles Brenda commented that every woman she saw was beautiful but there was a similarity to them all that she found strange. "You know, I think too much perfection isn't really perfection at all," Brenda commented.

"It's like Stepford, all right," Fritz agreed. "Some people's values are really skewed."

"It's a beautiful community but even if I fit in there I wouldn't want to live there," she said.

"Me neither. I love the diversity of LA."

It was dark when Fritz pulled up in front of Brenda's house. And once again he thanked her for a lovely day, kissed her and left. After she was inside the house, Brenda began wondering whether Fritz really liked her all that much. On one hand he kept asking her out, but on the other he didn't seem to want to sleep with her again. And this both disappointed and irritated her. "I spent all day yesterday cleanin' my house for nothin'," Brenda fussed.

When she returned to work the next day, she didn't have much time to think about Fritz. Besides routine police work, Will told her that the Chief had ordered an audit of her unit. Will explained, "He needs to make a presentation to the Police Commission and the legislature. He wants to be able to show statistically that your unit is solving crimes. Our future funding depends on it so get your unit's cases in order for the auditors."

"How far do I have to go back?" Brenda asked.

"To the beginning of the unit."

Brenda wasn't quite sure what needed to be done as her cases were always in order for the DA's office so she launched into reviewing the unit's cases prior to her arrival and making sure everything in those case files was complete and logically organized.

As she worked, it seemed to her that Will was making excuses to come to her office. Most of his issues were petty and seemed irrelevant. "They could be dealt with over the phone or with an email," Brenda thought. But even though she became more and more irritated with each interruption, she just pasted her smile on and answered his question of the moment.

But the next time he entered her office he invited her to have lunch with him saying that he needed to discuss staffing. Brenda wasn't fooled. She just kept her smile in place while she told him that she was busy working on meeting the Chief's deadline and that her team had already ordered lunch. After he left her office, she picked up her phone and called Gabriel asking him to please order lunch for the unit. Her treat. So Sanchez and Buzz were dispatched to go to the food truck down the street and bring back tacos and burritos for everyone.

On Wednesday, her phone rang. She was glad to hear Fritz's voice. He asked her out for dinner on Friday. She was delighted to say yes and for the first time all week, her smile was genuine.

At the end of the day on Friday, Brenda fairly bolted from her office before Will could make another useless appearance. She hastily said goodnight to a startled Buzz when she almost ran him down in the hallway. She managed to catch the elevator and was soon on her way home to get ready for her date.

When Fritz took her home after dinner and dancing, Brenda was ready. Before he could say goodnight she invited him in and he gladly accepted. Brenda's heart was racing, but it wasn't the wine she had at dinner. It was sitting on the sofa with Fritz's arm around her that caused it. It was his nuzzling her hair and ear that caused it. And it was his kiss that drove her over the edge. Once again she wanted to be on top as they kissed. And once again the result was that they spent the night in bed with very little sleep.

Brenda awoke first. She turned and looked at Fritz. His head was turned toward her so she lightly kissed him and brushed his hair back. He awoke and put her on her back with a deep kiss. One thing led to another and hour later, she pushed him away and headed for the shower. When she entered the kitchen she found Fritz cooking bacon and eggs. The coffee pot had finished brewing so she poured them both a cup. Fritz moved to her, put his arm around her and gave her another deep kiss. He continued to hold her as he buried his face in her damp hair and said, "Mmmmm. You smell wonderful."

Brenda put her arms around his neck and said, "New shampoo. It was on sale. It's in the shower so feel free to use as much as you want."

Fritz laughed. "Are you telling me that I smell?"

"Not at all. I'm just sayin' that if you like the smell so much that you too can smell like camomile and flowers."

"I can't wait," Fritz replied dryly.

At breakfast, the talk turned serious. "I've been thinking about your house. You don't have any locks on your windows. Anyone could break in."

"Do you think I should call a locksmith? I wonder how much that would cost."

"Probably not terribly much but I'd be glad to do it for you. It's not a difficult job. After breakfast we can go to Home Depot and buy the locks and then I can install them for you."

"Thanks. I'd really like that."

"But I'd like to go home and change my clothes first. Would you mind?"

"No, not at all. But do you want to take your shower here first?"

"If you don't mind waiting, I would rather take it at home. I'm not sure camomile is my signature fragrance."

Brenda grinned. "No, I don't mind at all."

So they drove to Fritz's condo. As Fritz held the door open and she stepped inside, she was impressed with how neat and clean it was. As expected it was a very masculine place. "I like it, Fritz. It feels like you."

"Thanks. It's comfortable and convenient. Let me get a quick shower and then we'll be on our way. Feel free to look around all you want."

So, while Fritz showered, she did exactly that. When Fritz entered his bedroom with his towel around his waist, he saw that Brenda was holding a picture from his dresser. It was Fritz with his arm around a blonde woman.

"That's my sister, Claire," he explained.

"She's pretty. Is she married?"

"No, she dates but I haven't heard of any serious relationships."

"Well, I know all about that. Bad relationships too," Brenda thought, "But this one does feel different." She wanted nothing more than to rip that towel from around his waist and push him down on the bed. But her defenses kicked in and she just set the picture down and said "I'll wait for you in the living room."

After Fritz dressed he walked into the living room and looked at Brenda. Brenda saw him hesitate. "Yes, Fritz? What is it?"

"Well, I was just thinking. As much as I appreciate peach scented shaving cream, I would really rather have my own things."

"Are you asking if you can bring some of your things to my place?"

Fritz saw a moment of panic in her eyes and immediately regretted saying anything. "You know, now that I think about it, peaches are fine."

Now it was Brenda's turn to feel bad. "No. No," She shook her head. "It's fine. I mean. You having some of your things at my place doesn't mean that..." She didn't know how to end that sentence so she just bit her lower lip and looked out the window.

"I think it would mean that we really like each other and we both want to see where this will go," Fritz replied gently.

Brenda couldn't think of the right thing to say so she just nodded and said, "It might be good. I'm almost out of disposable razors."

Fritz put his arm around her and said, "In that case I think bringing my own razor would be a big help." Brenda gave him a fleeting smile and nodded so he continued, "Thank you. I really would like to." And he packed up a few things and threw them into the back seat of his car.

They spent the day installing locks on all of Brenda's windows. That evening they ordered a pizza and spent the evening watching a movie Fritz had stopped to rent. Even though it was an Oscar winner, neither Fritz nor Brenda saw too much of it. And they both missed the ending.

The next morning, Brenda again awoke first. She watched Fritz sleeping and wrestled with her growing feelings for him and her need to move very cautiously. But even as she realized the need to keep up her guard she could not deny that she really wanted her relationship with this man to work. She felt completely comfortable with him and she felt safe with him. Besides her father and brothers he was the only man she knew she could trust.

"I know he'll hurt me. Every man winds up hurtin' me," Brenda thought. "But he's a good man and I know when it comes, it won't be deliberate. He would never hurt me deliberately. He's kind and he knows how to treat me right."

So, even though she was still determined to guard her heart, she realized that he was the one man who didn't make her hide. She could drop her mask.


End file.
